Why did Sarah Palin visit Eastern Washington in May?

a) To get a mud treatment at Soap Lake.

b) To tour Hanford and find out if her political half-life is equal to Plutonium.

c) To deliver the commencement address at Republic High School.

d) To hunt caribou in Grand Coulee.

Felix Hernandez famously shed tears this year. Why?

a) The Mariners signed him to a big contract extension.

b) He overheard team president Chuck Armstrong call him fat.

c) His favorite Waffle House in Bellevue closed.

d) He threw a perfect game.

The term ‘Nerd Herd’ has become the nickname du jour for who?

a) Tipsy patrons of Belltown’s First Avenue bars after closing hour.

b) Apple store customers at U-Village.

c) People who never missed an episode of Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger.

d) Amazon workers in South Lake Union.

Ed Murray’s favorite hobby is:

a) Bird watching.

b) Rearranging his sock drawer.

c) Building robots.

d) Dressing up as King Arthur and reciting his lines from the musical Camelot.

What habit did KIRO-FM talk-show host Dori Monson quit this year?

a) Watching late-night reruns of Seinfeld and M*A*S*H

b) Drinking Diet Coke

c) Referring to Washington as a “Nannie State.”

d) Injecting black tar heroin.

Why did we write about “crab butter” this year?

a) A fight over the last helping of the dish led to a shooting at a local soup kitchen in November.

b) Ed Murray declared it his favorite delicacy, alienating vegan voters.

c) It’s the name of Golden Tate’s touchdown dance.

d) It’s how Richard Sherman described 49ers wide-receiver Michael Crabtree.

d) Studies found it’s one of the most polluted things you can eat out of the Duwamish River.

Which of these did NOT cause a controversy this year:

a) Seattle Children’s Hospital stating on a bus it wanted to eliminate autism.

b) The Department of Justice stating on a bus it wanted to catch pictured terrorists.

c) An anti-gun group stating on a bus that firearms make homes less safe.

d) Planned Parenthood stating on a bus that birth-control should be free.

A Washington alfalfa farmer couldn’t export his crop to Asia this fall because…

a) It was contaminated by a strain of bacteria usually found in bovine urine.

b) It was contaminated by GMOs he said he didn’t plant.

c) The Coast Guard suspected it was being smuggled to North Korea to feed Kim Jong Un’s cattle.

d) It was contaminated by coal dust piled up along the railroad.

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What did U.S. Rep. Jim McDermott, D-Seattle, say about Republicans in the final days of the government shutdown?

a) ‘Obama should deal with them like he dealt with Bin Laden.’

b) ‘They fucking lost.’

c) ‘I can’t tell if their leadership is red with embarrassment or going to a new tanning salon.’

d) ‘It’s uptight assholes like them we legalized weed for.’

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Before it sank outside Tacoma in January, what was the Helena Star famous for?

a) It was the house boat in “Sleepless in Seattle.”

b) It was the first boat used by Greenpeace to protest whalers in the Pacific Ocean.

c) It was busted with 37 tons of marijuana on board in the 70s.

d) It was busted with 9 tons of cocaine on board in the 80s.

E) It was busted with 5 tons of heroin on board in the 90s.

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Which nationally known group was La Luz touring with when they got into their terrifying collision with a semi-truck on the way back from Boise?

a) Architecture in Helsinki

b) of Montreal

c) Beirut

d) Phoenix

E) Tokyo Police Club

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In what city did a random man with closely shaved sides and a leather jacket film himself fooling fans, promoters and concert staff into thinking he was actually Macklemore?

a) Chicago

b) Detroit

c) Phoenix

d) Salt Lake City

E) Coon Rapids, Minnesota

Who’s hockey team did we try to steal this year?

a) Buffalo’s

b) Nashville’s

c) Phoenix’s

d) Sacramento’s

How many people will be able to attend live in studio sessions at the new KEXP headquarters that are breaking ground at Seattle Center in January 2014?

a) 25

b) 30-40

c) 50-75

d) 100

E) None. Artists don’t give away their work for free.

Correct answer: C

What three characteristics did Seattle Cancer Alliance use to describe the typical Washington State patient opting for physician-assisted suicide?

a) White, male and well-educated

b) White, male and over 80

d) Well-educated, over 80, and a resident of Seattle

E) Male, well-educated and a Mariners season-ticket holder

Why was artist Andrew Morrison upset with the Seattle School District?

a) It censured him for his hip-hop song, Gettin’ Garfield Hiiiigh, which he said was about the cartoon cat, not the high school.

b) It had him arrested for hosting a nude model at his studio in the district-owned Horrace Mann building in the Central District.

c) It planned to tear down his murals of famous Native American leaders, to which he said “No Way Jose Banda.”

d) It canceled his Sculpting With Scalpels in Schools for what we suspected was excessive alliteration.

What did an audit fault Seattle’s parking management for?

a) Ticketing drivers while they were standing “two feet away” at parking kiosks waiting to pay.

b) Allowing those little Car2Go cars to “park with impunity” anywhere they please.

c) Focusing too much on “giving customer a pleasant parking experience.”

d) Giving in to Sen. Ed Murray’s “every petty whim.”

How did 20-year King TV anchor Allen Schauffler describe Al Jazerra when they off him a job in their Seattle bureau?

a) “The terrorist network”

b) “The Osama channel”

c) “Al Ja-who-za?”

d) “The best news station oil can buy”

E) “Like King 5, without the weather updates.”

What futuristic shape will Amazon’s city-appoved greenhouse/corporate headquarters take in the Denny Triangle once it’s built?

a) A Dodecahedron

b) A Moebius Strip

c) Three Orbs

d) Two Twisting Spires

E) A drone

Of the hundreds they took, how many dollar bills did the thieves who stole the money off the ceiling of the Comet Tavern decide to leave up there after their heist?

a) One

b) Three

c) Twenty

d) None, earning them a Dick Move of the Week Award

Which of the following comments were NOT made about Gold Bar?

a)“It is a town straight out of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas?

b)  “For several years, there’s been a strange, dark, cancerous mass of venomous antimatter bubbling up in the weird undertow of …. civic life.

c)“Believe it or not, we used to be pretty normal.

d) “When we moved here in 2003, we were advised not to buy because people were constantly bickering and suing each other. It turned out that advice was right on the mark.”

E) “It’s a great place to settle down and raise a family.”