This Week’s Horoscopes

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

When approaching a situation similar to one you’ve experienced before, use what you learned, but be careful how you apply it. That means you shouldn’t be trying to recreate those scenarios—doing so would feel false and artificial for all concerned. However, using what worked isn’t a bad idea. Build on that. There’s a way to call upon your history to help create something totally new. The more you can let go of what’s gone before, without forgetting it, the better chance you’ll have of making the present moment richer and more thrilling than the past ever was.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

What a tease. You love to flirt or even put yourself in semi-compromising situations just to see what’ll happen. While this is endlessly entertaining for you, it can be frustrating and confounding both for the objects of your attentions and for those you’re already close to. Keep yourself in check this week. What’s good fun for you just isn’t all that amusing for some people you care about. You can find other venues and ways to be playful, right? Since this particular one mostly confuses and upsets people at the moment, I suggest you try to do so.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Frequently when people are insecure about something, they overcompensate. The cockiest ones are often those with the most intense self-doubts. (Similarly, the most homophobic are usually gays who can’t admit it.) Is this what’s happening here? We can usually see through the facades people put up (especially from lame-ass closeted gay-bashers), and would respect authenticity a lot more than some false front. Be real—even if that means letting some of your less-flattering facets show. They’ll still shine more than any fakery. Trust me on this one. We’ll like the real you a lot better than anything else you could show us.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Don’t assume you know where anyone else is coming from. You know how you’d react to a given situation, but it’s all too easy for you to assume that others would (or should) take similar action. After all, it’s the best, most sensible thing to do, right? That may be—but one of the beauties and failings of our existence is the different ways people can view and react to the same scenario. Demanding behavior that conforms exactly to your standards would be foolish and somewhat tyrannical. Don’t do it. You may discover that someone else’s seemingly preposterous approach actually works better than yours. Wouldn’t that be something?

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Sometimes it seems as if the pool of available potential partners is only knee-deep, and you’ve caught and thrown back every fish in there. That can be disheartening, I know, but don’t freak out about it. Things are always changing, and if it’s really important to you, you can change yourself, thereby making whole new worlds available to you. The easiest thing to alter is simply your location, but you can do other things too. Sometimes all it takes is a minor gym habit or a new haircut. Feeling bored and frustrated? Keep transforming your scenario until it becomes one that’ll keep you challenged and interested instead.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Vengeance may taste good on the tip of your tongue, but its bitter, burning aftertaste will linger long. It’s almost never worth it. Letting things go and moving on may be less satisfying in the heat of the moment, but it feels better in the long run, and gives you the best chance of actually progressing and making something new happen. Opting for revenge has the opposite effect, unfortunately: Nothing is more likely to make you repeat the same basic scenario all over again. Don’t trap yourself in some stupid cycle, especially when breaking free is as simple as three words: Forgive and forget.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Whatever you want to do is fine, of course (as if you’d let anyone else dictate what you can or can’t do). However, your stubborn refusal to let anyone even appear to tell you what to do can sometimes make you ignore very good advice. Try to be more open-minded. You don’t have a week, a month, or a year to finally come around to what others have been saying all along. You need to be humble enough to realize when someone’s telling you something purely for your own good, and take it on board. This week, when someone criticizes you, don’t snap. Consider where they’re coming from, and see if you can go there too.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

You suck at wasting time. Ask a Pisces what she did with her afternoon, and she’ll respond, “Oh, is it evening already? I really have no idea where the time goes!” Most Virgos, on the other hand, will have squeezed more into every minute than most people could squeeze into 10, and still be frustrated they didn’t get more done. However, that’s not always a good thing. This week is a good week for slowing down; efficiency isn’t everything, you know. I know you haven’t had much practice at taking things slowly. Perhaps call on a Pisces for some help.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

You can’t please everybody. You know this, yet you still have a natural tendency to try (and frequently drive yourself nuts or to misery in the process). Consciously resist that impulse this week, when it may be very powerful indeed. Rationally, you know you can’t make everyone happy, yet you’ll probably be able to convince yourself that you can come close—and consequently expend a lot of effort trying. That’s just not the way to go this week. Make carefully considered decisions and stick by them, knowing ahead of time that no matter what they are, they’ll probably upset someone—and that’s just the way it is.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Your Libran neighbors like to try to make everyone happy—something you know better than to attempt, of course. However, you’re guilty of the opposite: not even trying to make anyone happy—even yourself! It’s probably not conscious, but sometimes you seem to hit upon the exact choice that will make the fewest people happy. I hope you can avoid such a scenario here. Perhaps there’s no avoiding some misery, given the current situation, but your decisions could still make circumstances happier for at least a few of the people concerned, including yourself. That, in fact, seems like a worthy goal for this week.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

You hate game-playing more than most, but unfortunately the human psyche seems to require a little bit of it sometimes. Being too available, ironically, makes most people less interested. The tiniest bit of hard-to-get, however, is like a spice to entice someone’s attention. You can play that game, can’t you? After all, it’s almost not much of a game—you are pretty hard to pin down. Just a sprinkle of unavailability is all you need to attract that attention you want. Don’t go overboard, though. A dash of cologne can be hot; a splash is kind of disgusting.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, focus on what you enjoy. What turns you off may be a shorter list than what turns you on, but still there are things that are especially good at pushing your buttons (in a good way). Mention those. We want to know precisely what makes you happy—saying “Everything but x, y, and z” makes it awfully hard to figure out how to please you, even though you think you’re making it easy for us. Be specific and focus on the positives—and we’ll do our part and deliver pretty much exactly what you ask for.