This Week’s Horoscopes

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Halloween has its roots mainly in the ancient Celtic tradition of Samhain. Their calendar divided the year into two parts, light and dark, with Samhain (roughly translated as “Summer’s End) representing the end of the light half and the beginning of the dark half. You are all too familiar with your dark side, but sometimes I worry about you losing touch with the lightness that is also an important part of you. Can you use the next six months to get back in touch? After all, the darker things get, the easier it is to shine.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

As much as we are evolving to become more cooperative, as a species we’re still pretty hardwired toward hierarchy. Most humans are pretty familiar and comfortable with other humans having more or less power than they. Thus in a situation in which everyone is supposed to be equal, and only a vote—or better yet, consensus—will lead to an actual decision, it’s sometimes difficult to figure out how to get things done. This week, luckily, you’ll get some practice. Remember, you don’t need to quell your natural leadership instincts—just use them to make sure everyone gets their say.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

Halloween has long been one of my favorite holidays. Not the sterile, lame-ass kids’ version that it’s become today, but the darker one I enjoyed as a kid (and still do). Masks have power, and donning one can let you explore sides of yourself that you might not normally get to. What facet of yourself might enjoy release this week? I’m absolutely positive that there’s some fascinating (and perhaps a bit scary) part of you that rarely gets to see the light of day. This week is a great time to let him or her come out and play.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Some plants have evolved to be carnivorous, finding ways to lure small animals and insects into their grasp. There are animals that have evolved to resemble plants in order to find a niche in which to survive. Obviously their evolution is a slow and mostly unconscious process. Yours, however, is quite the opposite: much faster, and much more conscious. You have the luxury of asking yourself: “If I change in order to fit in better, what will I have then become? Will I like that?” It’s an important question, and one I hope you find a positive answer to before you take your next step.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

The problem with prophecy is that it almost always invalidates itself. Suppose you dream about a possible future. From then on, many of your choices and actions may be influenced by that dreaming vision—and probably keep it from ever happening. That’s free will for you. I’m not suggesting you’re psychic, but sometimes you have pretty strong premonitions about how something may play out. However, instead of acting to prevent the outcome, you’re intent on proving yourself right, and act to manifest it instead—even when it’s not something you actually want to happen! Talk about subtle self-sabotage. May I suggest you quit that, pronto?

Aries (March 21–April 19)

You don’t need a Halloween mask to show your true colors—you have trouble hiding them under normal circumstances, so there’s no real revelation there. While donning a disguise can be a very useful exercise for people with more hidden aspects than you, you don’t need that excuse to let it all hang out. You’ve always been very what-you-see-is-what-you-get. Thus this Halloween can be about fun in its purest form. Go on and be something you’re not but wish you were. Go for the longest stretch you can think of. Not that you need another one, but consider this holiday a fantastic excuse to just play.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

I encouraged some signs to use the tradition of the Halloween mask to express rarely visible parts of themselves, but that’s not really what you need, Taurus. You need a holiday when nothing bad will happen if you relax all control. You can do whatever you want, and the next day face no consequences worse than a bad hangover. Unfortunately, no such holiday exists, yet—but that shouldn’t stop you from making one up. Even if you never actually manifest it (although you should), just figuring out what you’d want on your own personal holiday will be a great (and very educational) exercise.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Unfortunately, a leak in the roof often means ripping out the whole ceiling and making a general mess of things. By the time the water penetrates to where you live, there’s more to deal with than just a patch up top could take care of. Some problems are like that: Once they’ve manifested, addressing them requires more than a Band-Aid. This is one of those—or will be. You can’t even see the problem yet, but you may already suspect it exists. A little investigation will reveal more, and I wouldn’t hesitate to do it—you may yet have a chance to nip this thing in the bud.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Certain of life’s milestones (losing your virginity, falling in love, getting your heart broken, etc.) are more widely recognized than others. Unfortunately, the ones that don’t get as much press are the ones that stick with you Cancers more tenaciously: for instance, the first time you lie to someone with whom you’ve always been honest—not to get away with something, but to protect them—or the time when you first put your own needs aside to address someone else’s. These are important emotional markers for you Crabs, and they deserve some attention—from you at least, if no one else. Make note of the significant moments that have changed you, and this week try to find some way to honor them.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Give the world some bitter, nasty weather, then follow it with a few days of mellow sunshine, and most people will have a hard time maintaining a bad mood. Obviously you can’t control the weather, but the principle can still be employed. Create an environment that’s less stressful and unpleasant than wherever someone has just been, and you’re likely to enjoy a much less stressed and unpleasant version of that person. This week is all about what you can do for others to make their lives better. There’s no need to emulate precisely fellow Leo Martha Stewart, but moving in that direction sure couldn’t hurt.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Despite your obsession with efficiency, you usually find ways to be polite as well. (Perhaps you’ve discovered that offending people can cause tremendous delays that no amount of efficiency can offset.) I’m glad you’ve frequently practiced them, because those skills of tact and diplomacy will need a rigorous workout this week. Don’t skimp on your manners, or you’ll pay the price in tedious time and effort repairing the damage. Sure, all that stuff is pretty much bullshit; unfortunately, it’s bullshit that some people—people you need to deal with—still take pretty seriously. Therefore you should too.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Sometimes you may wish you were more like a turtle or a snail, with a hard shell to retreat into when the world gets nasty. However, given the nature of life’s challenges, this strategy would rarely get you out of trouble, but only postpone it. Shielding yourself from pain temporarily won’t make it go away. I wouldn’t advise it, unless all you need is a couple minutes to breathe—because that’s all you’ll get. When something troubling happens, don’t retreat from it. Instead, confront it head on. The shortest, quickest route past this rough patch is straight through it.