After watching a Sonics game, do you ever find yourself wishing you’d drunk more? Well, the good folks at the Weekly‘s Buzzer Beater blog are here to help you regulate—consider us the Nate Dogg to your Warren G. So get a half-rack, turn on the game, and follow the rules below (i.e., drink every time you encounter an event listed in your categorical state of desired inebriation) for our trademarked SuperSonic Lush drinking game:
Designated driver.
• Wally Szczerbiak dunks.
• Delonte West finishes with his right hand.
• You overhear someone say, “I wish Craig Ehlo was still calling these games.”
• Kevin Durant outmuscles his opponent.
• The camera shows Clayton Bennett in the owner’s box.
• You find yourself thinking, “Man, those three 7-footers were really underrated draft picks.”
I’m just gonna have one or two.
• Luke Ridnour fouls a stronger point guard who’s backing him down.
• After the defense attempts to force him right, Delonte West backs the ball out to get an angle to go left.
• Damien Wilkins hits a corner three.
• Wally Szczerbiak gets an assist or rebound.
• Kurt Thomas dunks.
• Nick Collison attempts a layup or dunk with his right hand.
I need a little buzz.
• Kevin Durant or Jeff Green deflects a pass or gets a steal.
• On a pick and roll, Chris Wilcox shuffles his feet to begin setting them for a dunk, despite being more than 15 feet from the basket.
• Wally Szczerbiak complains to or makes an incredulous face at an official. Drink two more times if he turns to someone other than that official to further plead his case.
• Brian Davis reminds you of Jeff Gannon.
• Damien Wilkins takes a shot that would have gotten you benched on your high-school, junior-high, or rec-league team.
Fuck it: Let’s get drunk.
• Kevin Durant takes a shot that would have gotten you benched on your high-school, junior-high, or rec-league team.
• Chris Wilcox dunks.
• Robert Swift looks like a victim stuck in a bully’s body.
• Damien Wilkins pump-fakes.
• Jeff Green’s jersey looks too small for him.
• You find yourself examining the southern shore of P.J. Carlesimo’s beard for grip marks.
Help me forget!
• Kevin Durant takes a shot.
• A Sonic player fails to close out, leading to an open putback for the opponent.
• Jeff Green plays better defense than Rashard Lewis.
• Wally Szczerbiak’s dribble-drive game reminds you of your 60-year-old father’s.
• You find yourself thinking, “I hope they don’t move to Oklahoma City.”