On Jared Walter: Let’s be thankful it was just glueThe more bizarre your fetish, the greater the chance for embarrassment if you get outed. Hence, people whose freaky leans toward the outlandish tend to keep it behind closed doors (also read: the Internet). But then there are some urges that can’t be contained. Behold the case of the Jared “The Tri-Met Barber” Walter, who earned his nickname by allegedly cutting locks of hair off the the heads of unsuspecting female bus passengers in Portland. And as KOMO News

reports, Walter made at least one attempt to hone his craft in Pierce County before moving south. The victim was shopping in a Puyallup McLendon hardware when a store security guard tackled a man standing nearby. The guard later informed her that the man since identified as Walter had snuck Super Glue in her flaxen, waxen. He was later convicted of assault and ordered to pay $100 in restitution. Apparently, he decided that Portland was a better fit, thereby saving King County’s own bus system a reputation for skeevy-ness. Wait. Nevermind.