LAST WEEK, Mayor Paul Schell became the first mayoral candidate to unveil ads for this year’s campaign. In an unusual move, the ads remind voters that he didn’t just screw up WTO and Mardi Gras, he also made many other terrible mistakes—like spending $35,000 for a tree for the new City Hall.
Now confidential ad agency documents obtained by the Seattle Weekly reveal other leading mayoral hopefuls’ advertising campaigns:
Yo! Mark and His Homies Chillin’: City Attorney Mark Sidran reminds viewers that his relentless campaigns against any nightclubs that feature music popular with African-American youth stem from his concern that the clubs’ crass, commercial ambiance disrespects the music Mark so deeply loves. In the first ad, Mark and his posse are on the roof of City Hall, looking out over the city, passing around enormous blunts while swilling 40-ouncers and blasting Puff Daddy from the boom box.
The Relentless Greg Nickels: The West Seattle council member demonstrates his complete sincerity when he says he will “see to it personally that Sound Transit’s light rail gets built!” In the ad, it’s night, and under a construction floodlight, a deep, empty trench recedes into the darkness of Rainier Valley. Greg—who is standing in the foreground with a sweaty brow and plenty of dirt behind him—handles his spade vigorously. A woman’s tired voice calls out plaintively, “Greg? Greg, it’s 3 a.m. Come to bed, Greg!”
The Marathon Man: A gun goes off. From a helicopter, the camera pans over the 20,000 runners of the Boston Marathon. As the camera zooms in, we see a cluster of runners in smocks, white shorts, and stethoscopes, pushing a dolly with an EKG monitor. Its wire leads are connected to the buff, muscular body of mayoral candidate Charlie Chong. As Charlie and his entourage weave their way through the pack to the head of the race, we hear his voice: “I’m not the front-runner. I probably won’t even win. But I’m not dead yet. I can do it. I can. Vote for Charlie Chong as your next . . . your next . . . your. . . .”
Geov Parrish
