Mexican’s Special Amnesty Edition

Dear Gabachos,

You love us, you really love us! Mere moments after the Senate allowed an amnesty bill to collapse like the peso’s value, ustedes bombarded the Mexican with typo-heavy valentines. To commemorate America’s latest amnesic spell regarding its immigrants and assimilation (previous examples include the Chinese Exclusion Act, the Immigration Act of 1924, and Jessica Alba), we turn this column over to a few of the Know-Nothings in all their grammatically incorrect glory. But don’t worry, everyone with a soul: Next week, the Mexican returns to the Reconquista. Now, on with the amor:

Hey Beaner,

Just how many indigenous people, non-mexican, (Inca) did the mexicans kill and claim their land before the mexicans said it was theirs? I suggest the people slaughtered were in the tens of thousands. Yes you are also killers as well as moochers. Yes, I know the americans took your land during some war. You are a whiner. We slaughtered your worthless ass inreturn for you slauthering someone else. Live with it. Die with it you scum.

*****

It’s easy to deny/sell-out ones heritage, well, if you’re a mexican that is. Anything to make a buck. Are you american? Of course you admit to being “latino.” You’re a spic. Just forget it. You are what you are. A sponge. A leach. I understand you’ll say anything true or not. It’s your column. But, you are so full of crap. Hey! Who discovered america?

*****

The AMERICAN people have spoken. We won’t be told what to do by people from another country who don’t even allow demonstrations in their own streets unless you are a national! Did you know that? Could you imagine an American in Mexico writing for a newspaper with a column called “ask an American? He would probably be assasinated. Kiss the ground and thank God that you’re an American!!

*****

I guess its true when they say the good guys always win in the end. Now that this bill has been beat, you can forget about this ever coming up again. EVER! In politics, you lose once, you’re finished. Nobody wants to back a loser, i.e. you and your cronies. I’ve yet to meet a mexican who can think CLEARLY through the issue. You guys are all the same—biased, selfish, entitled and looking to subvert America. None of you have ever even presented a cogent argument as to how amnesty can even benefit America! And if you truly believe amnesty is good for America, feel free to take your argument to [conservative talk radio]! But you won’t, because you know you’ll get your ass kicked around because…the good guys always win in the end!

Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. You + illegal aliens: 0. America: 20. What’s next in Congress? Shutting the borders down for good and starving illegal mexicans out of America.

*****

fukinidiot: Amnesty bill.Sorry better luck next time….if there is one. U.S.A ! U.S.A! HA..HA..!.

*****

You just want to whine about how bad you have it. Go Home!

*****

What are mesicans going to do now since the immigration bill failed? You will have more time to spray graffiti, yes? More time to rob, yes? More time to gangbang, yes?

*****

Looks like the Senate bill died. Good… just the way I like it…it keeps you cockroaches as our little slave workers. Now go and clean some toilets you little brown animal.

Got a spicy question about Mexicans? Ask the Mexican at garellano@seattleweekly.com. Those of you who do submit questions: They will be edited for clarity, cabrones. And include a hilarious pseudonym, por favor, or we’ll make one up for you! También, a glossary deciphering some of the Mexican’s more popular catchphrases can be found at www.seattleweekly.com.