In the first 24 hours of its release, the Xbox One sold over 1 million units, breaking the Xbox 360’s previous claim and setting a new record for Microsoft.

According to Microsoft, that means in the last 24 hours:

-Over 60 million zombies have been killed in “Dead Rising 3”

-Over 3.6 million miles were driven in “Forza Motorsport 5”

-Over 7.1 million combos were executed in “Killer Instinct”

-Over 8.5 million enemies were defeated in “Ryse: Son of Rome”

All this despite the enormous Reddit nest I poked with my highly controversial meh review of the system which was secretly sponsored by Sony™. Kudos to all you ecstatic new Xbox One owners, I sincerely hope you enjoy your new console. Now let’s hope Stephen Elop doesn’t become Microsoft’s next CEO.

In the meantime, I’m going to go swipe the nearest copy of the new Zelda game, which has critics drooling. Master Chief just can’t play an Ocarina like Link can.