CHEESE/GAMING
It doesn’t get much cheesier than naming your band the Romantics because you formed on Valentine’s Day. No, wait, scratch that—seeing the Romantics perform at the Muckleshoot Casino on Valentine’s Day actually tops the cheese-o-meter charts. But who says cheesy is a bad thing? We say embrace it—pretend it’s 1980, “What I Like About You” just came out, and you’re rocking the sweetest mullet this side of Kansas. Grab your significant other and sing along to other hits from the Detroit foursome, like “Talking in Your Sleep” or “One in a Million.” Then after the show, hit the casino and place some bets. After all, you just saw the Romantics free of charge. That means it must be your lucky night! 2402 Auburn Way South, 253-939-7484, muckleshootcasino.com. Free. 8 p.m.
COMEDY
A well-adjusted, happy couple can laugh their way through anything. Well, screw them—the rest of us need a little help. Get your much-needed comic relief at David Crowe’s Laugh Lovers Ball at the Moore Theatre. Now in its 15th year, the show features five comedians trying to get you laughing and, they hope, forgetting the fight you just had over where to park. The show’s lineup includes Drew Hastings (who recently starred in an hour-long Comedy Central show), David Crowe (whose Showtime comedy special was filmed at the Triple Door), Mary Mack, Tim Lee, and a special mystery guest. 1932 Second Ave., 467-5510, themoore.com. $30–$50. 4 & 8 p.m.
KID VALLEY
If you’ll be spending Valentine’s afternoon with your children, you’ll want to get them tired enough to be desperate for an early bedtime. How about heading down to Hillman City, where they’re celebrating their new slogan, “The Heart of Rainier Valley”? Community volunteers have been busy hiding paper hearts made by local children all around town and offering clues via the Rainier Valley Post Web site. Your kids can run themselves ragged collecting hearts as they figure out the answers to clues like “Which Hillman City African business owner was a farmer in Africa?” or “Where is the hottest oven in Hillman City?” Then take all the hearts you collect to the Town Hall meeting at the Rainier Avenue Church (noon–3 p.m. Sat., Feb. 21) and enter them in a raffle for prizes donated by local vendors. If Hillman City has done its job, your kids will be dead-tired enough that you can turn your G-rated day into a PG-13 (and up) night. Rainier Avenue Church, 5900 Rainier Ave. S., rainiervalleypost.blogspot.com.
TOYS
Get yourself involved in body painting with the Merry Makers, photography booths, and general naughtiness at the Lover’s Masquerade Ball at the Showbox SoDo Lounge. Sponsored by sex-toy shop Lover’s Package, the evening will feature music by the Stunt Doubles, playing favorite ’90s hits by Sublime, Beck, and Weezer. Couples can get in for $10 each while singles are being charged $15, so if you’re smart, bring a buddy and claim coupledom for cheap tickets—and if you’ll want to ward off unwanted advances throughout the night. 1700 First Ave. S., showboxonline.com. 8 p.m. 21+.
THEATER/DRINKS
Improvisational sonnets, sketch comedy, and dance—as well as sneak peeks of their current production Death, Sex—are on offer at Balagan Theatre’s “For Better, for Worse” at the Grey Gallery & Lounge. If the art doesn’t turn you on but your date is totally into it, down some of the sparkling wine and scarf some dessert crepes, and we guarantee it’ll get better. 1512 11th Ave., 325-5209, greygalleryandlounge.com. 8 p.m. doors, 10 p.m. show.
SWING TIME
It’s the swinging ’60s, and you’re jumping into your Coupe de Ville and heading to the Sands in Las Vegas to see Sinatra perform with the Count Basie Orchestra…OK, it’s 2009 and you’re jumping into your Celica and heading to the Triple Door to see Joey Jewell impersonate Sinatra, but that won’t make it any less romantic. Jewell and a 17-piece big band led by Jim Kerl will be recreating that legendary performance (as originally arranged by Quincy Jones) while you dine from the Triple Door’s extensive menu. 216 Union St., 838-4333, thetripledoor.net. 6 p.m. show, $70 (includes a $50 food/beverage credit); 8:30 p.m. show, $50 (includes a $30 food/beverage credit).
KID-FREE
Why not pawn off your kids on the Pacific Science Center for the night? The sweet angels who run the place are willing to watch and entertain your rascals (grades 2–8) until the morning light, while you go out (or just stay in). The kids will be treated to plenty of edutainment—like finding out what happens when you dip Peeps into a liquid-nitrogen bath or mix diet Coke with Mentos—plus they’ll explore the Tropical Butterfly House. (Is it just us, or is this starting to sound better than a lot of Valentine’s Days we’ve had?) Seattle Center, 443-2925, pacsci.org. $48 members, $55 non-members. Drop off at 7 p.m., pick up at 9 a.m.
FUNK
You need the funk. You’ve got to have that funk. And Showbox at the Market is going to give you that funk. Greyboy All-Stars is a killer five-piece with the great Karl Denson on saxophone, and the blood of James Brown, the Meters, and other legends coursing through its veins. This is old-school R&B at its best. And nothing says Happy Valentine’s Day like a really tight groove. Local hip-hop favorites Common Market open. 1426 First Ave., showboxonline.com, 628-0888. $18 adv./$20 DOS. 8 p.m.