Dear Dategirl,
In the past few months I’ve been called a whore, had my ass grabbed, had a bus driver stare at my tits and imply I wouldn’t have to pay “if . . . ”—oh, and I think one of my instructors touched my chest on purpose and tried to pass it off as an accident, but I might just be paranoid by now. There was also a guy outside a bar I was leaving who tried to show me his dick, but I turned and ran as soon as I figured out what was about to happen. I’m not beautiful. I’m not ugly either, but I don’t dress sexy and I hardly wear any makeup.
When I tried to talk to my mom about it, she laughed and said I’ll miss that attention when I’m old. I don’t think so! Any time I have responded, the guy laughed at me or got angry. What can I do or say to make these guys stop?
—Creep Magnet
Your note takes me back to one hungover Saturday morning when I had crawled out for supplies. I was wearing last night’s makeup smeared around my eyes, stretched-out sweats, and the moldy aroma of old beer when a gentleman pulled his car to the curb and beckoned me over. I stupidly thought he wanted directions or something, but no. Apparently Grampy had pegged me for an unkempt, grocery-toting prostitute, and offered me a 10-spot for a blowie. This wasn’t a street crowded with working girls either. Just a normal street, right around the corner from my home. I did not take one bit of solace from the knowledge that even though I looked like a day-old turd, some elderly creeper was still willing to pay me 10 bucks to put his withered penis in my mouth.
Another day—this time I was actually bathed, dressed cute, and feeling pretty spectacular—a totally different charmer slithered up behind me and hissed in my ear “I want to come on those tits,” then scurried away. His mouth was so close to my ear I can still feel the warm vapor of his breath. So it seems a lady just can’t win, can she? Look like shit and some geezer wants a blowjob; look good and some assclown wants to jizz all over your tits.
Take a peek through the webiste of an activist group called Hollaback and you’ll see our numbers are legion. And far from being flattering, a stranger grabbing your ass is actually quite intimidating. As is some schmendrick whipping his dick out in your face. It’s such a widespread problem that there’s even an international Anti-Street Harassment Week that we already missed—April 7–13.
You don’t just have to grin and bear it. Obviously your first concern should be your safety. If there’s no one around and you feel threatened, scream your face off and run. But say the bus thing happens again. As long as there are other passengers aboard, whip out your phone and take his picture. Loudly tell him his behavior is unacceptable and then report his ass. Some jerk shows you their junk? Photograph him and take it to the cops. They may not do anything (but they might), but you can bet that guy will think twice before pulling out his pecker again.
dategirl@seattleweekly.com
Want more? Listen to Judy on The Mike & Judy Show, follow her tweets @HitOrMissJudy, or buy her new book, The Official Book of Sex, Drugs, and Rock ’n’ Roll Lists.
