According to Seattle Police – and the always entertaining SPD Blotter blog – authorities were called to Taboo Adult Video near 1st Avenue and Spring Street Friday after “an extremely intoxicated man” showed up just after 10 pm and started causing trouble. As SPD’s Jonah Spangenthal-Lee reports, the man – who immediately drew the attention of attentive employees on duty – stumbled toward the store’s arcade area. That’s when things got hot. Literally.

As Spangenthal-Lee writes, “Suddenly, an employee saw a flash of bright orange light on one of the cameras overlooking the arcade area. The employee ran back to the arcade, where he found the intoxicated man standing over a garbage can filled with burning paper towels.”

Not surprisingly, the employee shooed the man from the store while at the same time dousing the fire with a nearby extinguisher.

Not one to let a good bodily fluid joke pass, Spangenthal-Lee concludes: “The suspect had fled the adult video store when police arrived, but he left a little of himself behind—a backpack, which officers collected as evidence. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

Try the veal.