A Passing Lane Many years ago some brave city planner had the clever idea to build exits on both sides of the freeway. “It’ll double our efficiency!” he exclaimed. In fact, what we have is a zigzagging mess of road rage that keeps me from driving north of downtown for at least six hours out of the day. I don’t care if the passing lane is on the right or left, just give me one and get out of the way.
Competent Cops We don’t expect the Seattle Police Department to become The Avengers, but we deserve cops who will investigate downtown gropers, racist instigators, and known cell-phone thieves without a local paper having to stir up a public uproar about it first. We deserve cops who police as effectively and empathetically in the south end as they do up north. And we deserve cops who won’t sue the city when we demand reasonable and necessary reform.
For more gift ideas, check out
Part One of
Seattle Weekly
’s Holiday Gift Guide
.
More All-Ages Venues Seattle just designated Capitol Hill as the city’s official “Arts District.” I can think of two venues on Capitol Hill that host all-ages shows, leading me to believe that we don’t appreciate how important it is to strengthen Seattle’s rich arts tradition by including and investing in the city’s youth. And speaking as a performer, I’d rather play for a room full of excited, (vaguely) sober teens than a bar full of grown-up, jaded drunks.
Sitbit This doesn’t exist yet, but it should because I’m stressed out about how infrequently I exercise, and all that anxiety can’t be good for my health. Sitbit is just like a Fitbit, except it encourages your inactivity with helpful notifications like “Exercise is for tomorrow,” “Have a snack because calories are necessary for life,” or “Watch a thrilling episode of TV to raise your heart rate.” Like a Fitbit, it would also track your sleep patterns—because even though I already know I sleep 10 hours a day, I want to know how good at it I am.
Socks I’m a 30-something male without any kids, so socks are a given. It’s such a reliable gift that I haven’t even purchased a sock in more than a decade, which makes me a little nervous. What if they just stop buying me socks? I wouldn’t even know where to begin. So I’m saying it here . . . socks.
Watson performs around Seattle and beyond as Spekulation. You can also purchase his book, Bitter Barista, a perfect gift for the coffee slinger in your family.
