Rhymes with Seltzer

When my Uncle Laszlo’s will was finally read last week, I became the proud recipient of his collection of classic ’50s smut mags.

Titles include: Aphrodite, Squaw, Spreader, Nudies & Cuteys, In ‘n’ Out, Rear Window, Nippy, Say Cheese!, Bound and Wet, Pix-4-U, Gal, Eff, The Thrill of It All, Bearded Clam, Made in Paris, Hooer, Muffs Ahoy, Corset & Garter, Wolf Whistle, Throb, Nekkid, Hot Mattress, Lez Be Lovers, T’s if You Please, Sexcapade, Leave It to Beaver, Bottoms Up, Cleavage and Panties, Potty, Pudding, Peeper, Dog Style, Illicit Carnal College Girls, Sick, Perv, Debauch, By Cracky, In the Raw, Anal Stewardess, Iron Curtain Cherry Popping Sweeties, Tail of Two Cities, Antsy Pants, Redwing, Lady Godiva Illustrated, Poozle, Trojan, Cop Sluts in Uniform, Gam and Hickey, Bazoom, Thatch, Hoof and Hind, Falsies 42, Beatnik Chicks in Heat, My Favorite Nympho, Ginch, Money Honey, Beach Bunny Bare-Ass, Mmmm Boy!, Box Lunch, Duff Capers, Natural Blondes au Natural, Dildo Party, Thigh & Tushy, Boot and Stirrup, Hair Pie, Yoni, Teen-Age Butt Frolic, and The Lady Doctor Underwear Annual (1952-59, complete).

Many hours of reading pleasure await me, and listening as well. For between pages of the March ’58 issue of Ontario Breastfeeder—hidden from the watchful eyes of Aunt Monique, no doubt—I found the CD pressing of Great with a Peanut Butter Sandwich and the original 45 of “Baby Beluga.” My unc, it seems, was a closet Raffi fan. No one ever knew!

Raffi plays the Moore Theater at 2 p.m. Sat., Nov. 2. $21