Walter Battfatt of Bremerton writes: “It’s always fun to learn that a famous and successful band, known the world over, previously made records and/or played under a previous name that possibly no one except their family & friends ever heard of. My number one band right now is Destiny’s Child, and I would be REAL interested to know what, if anything, they were once known as before. And other groups too!–if you would, please.”

Lucky you are, Walter, to have brought up the subject of names. My knowledge of band names is extensive. Destiny’s Child were originally billed as The Heartbreak of Constipation. My own favorite beat combo, Marky Ramone & The SpeedKings, were once The Rockin’ Doodoo Berries. The Ramones themselves first performed as Jews Killed Jesus. Others include:

The Strokes: Acne Pimp. ‘N Sync: Bridal Crabs. Big Star: The “G” Spot Romeos. The Replacements: I Suck, You Suck. The Foo Fighters: Herman’s Hermits. Metallica: The Port-a-Potties. Fugazi: American Coozehounds. Mudhoney: The Scabies Lovers. Radiohead: Of Mice and Poland Water. Guided by Voices: The Knife-Wielding Scumbags.

Pavement: Cryogenic Pus. Pearl Jam: The Kirk & Michael Douglas Band. Crosby, Stills & Nash: The Reptilians. The Wu-Tang Clan: Beepo. X: Fools’ Fucking Folly. The Go-Gos: Wet Seahag Pee. Yo La Tengo: Penis. Phish: The Handjobs. Ratdog: You Stupid, Stupid Wuss. Smegma: The Unloved, Featuring Paul McCartney. The Soft Boys: Eight Fat Fucks from Hell.

Marky Ramone & The SpeedKings play Hell’s Kitchen in Tacoma at 9 p.m. Fri., Jan. 3. $10. They will also perform at Jimmy Z’s in Everett at 9 p.m. Sat., Jan. 4. $10.