Never mind the new book on Nirvana.

The cover features a man in a suit, obviously a professional, underwater and swimming toward a hundred-dollar bill dangling on a fishhook (a needle-cone treble, for you anglers out there). The title? Never Mind Nirvana. Yes, it’s that shameless, and it gets much, much worse. The novel, which hits bookstores this week, “should spark interest among grunge-music buffs,” according to Booklist. The Gnome would like to offer a blurb as well: “Mark Lindquist should be publicly flogged for flaunting a city and its music community for his personal gain.” This atrocity of a book follows Pete Tyler, a 36-year-old attorney—coincidentally Lindquist’s real day job—and ex-grunge pseudocelebrity who hangs out at the Crocodile and trolls for young ladies to reel into his babe-magnet loft overlooking Elliott Bay. Pete’s second-favorite hobby is to name-drop, and the author makes a curious decision to mix fiction and nonfiction. The narrator bellies up to the bar at the Cha-Cha with the Murder City Devils (wait, isn’t that Kathleen Wilson’s job?), he engages girls in discussions about Flop, and he occasionally goes to work, where he’s prosecuting a local music figure accused of date rape. If this sounds familiar, that’s because the story’s lifted from the Isaac Brock situation. Wilson admirably confronted Lindquist on this point in a recent interview, and the author laughed it off as coincidence. Yeah, Mark, and it’s coincidental that you mention every real-life club, doorman, record label, and band member you could squeeze into the narrative. Life may imitate art, but this ain’t art. Unfortunately, somebody at Villard Books thinks it is, and the Random House division is unleashing 25,000 copies on the world.

On a more positive note, another of Seattle’s ace A&R men is back in action. The Gnome has sung the praises of James Morelos, head of Made in Mexico Records (Pedro the Lion, the Vogue). Now it’s time to tip the cap to Nasir Rasheed, whose Sweet Mother Recordings springs into action with the release of the Verbrilli Sound’s Many Coloured Butterflies, a hypnotizing collection of laid-back grooves and funky beats by Vancouver’s Pat Dodds (a.k.a. Don Verbrilli). Sweet Mother’s also got Plastiq Phantom in a London studio working on a full-length. As for Morelos, his latest Made in Mexico signing, the Blessed Light, played a rambunctious set at Foxes’ Thursday night Pho Bang—think Beachwood Sparks with a glam touch.

The Gnome leaves you with a few thoughts to ponder:

Why is Pearl Jam playing warm-up shows in Bellingham and Vancouver May 10 and 11 (with Sonic Youth opening), but not playing Seattle until November?

Why is R.E.M. recording its new album in Vancouver starting this week?

What the hell’s going on in Vancouver?

Could it be the deflated Canadian dollar? You betcha!


You can reach the Metro Gnome at metrognome@seattleweekly.com