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= my celeb encounter.Okay, so I had a few drinks yesterday. But by 1 a.m. last night I was sober at a party where everyone else was drunk. Super drunk. Small-town, midwestern wedding, someone’s-uncle-is-about-to touch-you-inappropriately drunk. The Virgins played and Danny Masterson, aka Hyde from That Seventies Show aka DJ Mom Jeans, was spinning a little self-indulgent, but not too bad for a celebrity DJ set. Not that it mattered to the wasted crew. They would have engaged in a chicken dance had he played it. My date/photog for this weekend is my little brother Aaron, and we both have extensive experience dealing with the overly inebriated. We found a corner next to the bar and the green room door and watched men slur/flirt and swaying girls crack their ankles in too high heels. We were joking about all the silk-screened striped shirts in the room when a burly security guard rushed past us into the swinging green-room doors. Not a minute later, two even larger security guards rushed past. When a fourth one ran past, it was apparent something big was up. We heard a burgeoning ruckus about to ensue, and not 30 seconds later, in burst a crazy girl who I am 98% sure was Lindsay fucking Lohan through the door like some sort of sci-fi hybrid of a Dreamscicle and the Tasmanian devil, only to be yanked by the back of her flannel almost immediately by burly guys #2. I don’t know what happened for sure, but someone brought a mop (I am not shitting you) to the green-room door five minutes later. Sounds like Lohan was partying too hard once again. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. To borrow from the sublime Tina Fey: “I was Lizzing!”If someone who follows her twitters could confirm L2 was in Chicago last night that would be great, but if you learn otherwise don’t let me know. I don’t want my sublimely absurdly surreal, Kathy Griffin-esque memory polluted by reality. (Update) Just got a press release stating not only was Lindsay there last night, her little fucking sister was too. Umm, I’m pretty sure that kid is like 16.In other (allegedly) drunken whore news, I spent the morning sucking down mimosas at the gaudily fabulous Playboy/Red Bull party with my musical fave/heartbreaking honey Langhorne Slim and his War Eagles and a whole bunch of rent a models in hot pants. The boys where lubricating for their set today on the BMI stage. Which I need to get to.. Later ‘gators.