Heading northbound on Hwy 99 from Seattle, the first bar you’ll encounter as you enter the city of Everett is a 7-night-a-week karaoke destination called O’Finnigan’s Pub. Like most bars along 99, the place doesn’t look like much from the outside, but I was there on a Monday night, and this scene rivals any place I’ve been in Seattle. When I walked in at ten, party music was blasting, there were clusters of chicks, and I might have been the oldest person there.

The place was divey and decked out in Halloween decor. It didn’t look like an Irish Pub at all. I got a little intimidated by the sign above the bar that warned fighting gets you banned for life. It definitely looked like a place where a sign like that would be necessary. I took a seat at the bar and was served up a bottle of Rainier by a tall bartender wearing a t-shirt with a picture of Bill Clinton on it that read “Will work for head” (it sounds pretty bad, but he actually pulled it off). The other bartender was a short brunette that reminded me of Snohomish County native (Edmonds) Anna Faris. She was a super flirt and watching her and “Bill Clinton shirt” play grab-ass all night provided even more entertainment to an already lively evening.

There wasn’t an established rotation to start. The KJ, Adam, did a great job spreading out the few slips he had up. We were in Everett, so the tunes he played between performers was an even split of Hip Hop and Country Pop. He had all the girls up and dancing all night. T

he first singer I saw was a gal that did “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” It was as good as that song could sound after the 50th time hearing it. Singing it was total second nature to her, so she really had to be sick of it too. It got me wondering: Do these people that perform it really love the song, or is it just super easy to sing? When I think of Benatar songs I love, “Hit Me..” wouldn’t even make the list, but people rarely try her great stuff like “Shadows of the Night,” “Love is a Battlefield,” or “We Belong.” Those are the songs that separate the varsity from the B-squad.

Early on, there was only a singer every 15 minutes, so I had plenty of time to search through the book (they had a huge catalog, all on computer). My original plan going in was to goof around and try some suicides, but after seeing the place had a full audience, I needed to deliver something to earn everyone’s respect. I’ve looked through the Tom Petty section pretty much every time, but for some reason have never wanted to try “You Don’t Know How it Feels.” I had three beers in me by the time I was called up, and it put me in enough of a groove to completely crush it. The song has that totally recognizable beat, heads started bopping as soon as I started singing it, and I had people on the dance floor by mid-song. The thing that’s best about the number is how easy it is to sing. There was no strain to it whatsoever; I just had to sing it “cool.”

All the singers could carry a tune, which is something you can’t take for granted in any k-bar. This dude sang Pearl Jam’s “Yellow Ledbetter” and did it in a way that wasn’t completely boring. He was followed by the flirty bartender gal, Karee Jo. Her voice was Stevie Nicks “slithery” and she did “Criminal” by Fiona Apple. Her vocal runs were smooth and natural, and she was the best female performer of the night.

There were, however, a couple numbers that were crowd pleasers that I completely hated. They were remakes of “Carless Whisper” (Seether) and “Tainted Love” (Marylin Manson) done in that horrible post-grunge, 90’s Alternative style. I can’t think of a worse mixing of genres than that. Call me a pussy or old fashioned all you want, but to turn those beautiful 80’s classics into that hog shit is totally blasphemy.

By 11, the place felt like a Friday night. People were up line dancing to every song. It reminded me a lot of the Little Red Hen. I further solidified my standing as the best male performer of the night with some Little River Band and sealed it shut with a cut off Prince’s Purple Rain soundtrack: “Take Me With You.” The song is technically a duet, so I had to sing it in two different octaves, which tends to come out awkward,. But with this song it wound up working really well with my range. I got handshakes and slow claps heading back to my chair. God damn, I love karaoke.