I’m broke. I’ve been broke for about five years now, ever since deciding to pursue my dream of being on the radio and giving up the business of making ends meet. I used to work to make money, get really good magazine subscriptions, cough up my minimum student loan bill, buy myself a nice steak dinner at Denny’s once in a while. But no more. Those days of eating are done. I’m a DJ now. I used to think that the big money would start rolling in once I became the next Casey Kasem. But it turns out that Casey’s the only one making a living at this; the rest of us are getting paid in promo CDs, vials of cocaine, and the occasional bag of coffee from an adoring fan. (Never mind that Casey Kasem’s like two feet tall and he’s an annoying prick.) The problem is, you don’t have to pay someone for doing something that they would do for free, and I didn’t even notice that other people were making more money than I was. This is all a new revelation. I started when I was only 21 and had just moved to Seattle. Suddenly, I’m 26 and I live in SEATTLE! I can’t even spit without hitting the broadside of a luxury car or a jackass billionaire on a cell phone. I have listeners who are off on vacation every other week, I have friends putting down chunks of money on new homes, I have family members doling out more allowance to their three-year-olds than I make in a week! Suddenly I realize living your dream doesn’t necessarily mean being able to really live.

My life seems even more pathetic, thanks to a new compilation out on Eighteenth Street Lounge Music. It’s called Jet Society, and it’s intended for the modern jet set. (The modern jet set? The only jet I take is the one from here to Spokane to visit my mom.) The disc’s full of dance and lounge music from around the world. I feel like I shouldn’t even be playing it, except that people seem to love it. They want to pick it up for their next trip out of the country.

Do you want to be John’s sugar daddy? Tune into KCMU 90.3 FM from 6-10am weekdays to sample John’s dream job.