Boom Jinx, Armin van Burren, Lady GaGa – it’s evident by the names that have graced the Last Supper Club (124 S. Washington St.) with live performances that the venue is a level above others in the city’s limited club scene. Pioneer Square’s two-story bar offers a solid DJ lineup, seizure-inducing techno music, and potent cocktails that draw huge weekend crowds, despite the pesky cover charges.

Upon entering, we’re accosted by the smell of hair spray, cologne, and sweat. Go-go dancers are writhing atop platforms in their underwear, bros are buying rounds of shots, and girls are alternating between sipping cocktails, dancing with friends, and reapplying their lip gloss. Patrons scream at each other to be heard over the frighteningly loud music. It’s as close to a nightlife scene as you’re going to get in hipster-ridden Seattle.

Our designated driver–who frequents Capitol Hill’s Moe Bar on her nights off–is so overwhelmed that she excuses herself for some fresh air. A bouncer who resembles Kevin Federline slips her his phone number while she’s out there. “I need to be drunk for this,” she sighs.

We head downstairs for a scene so different that it feels like we’ve left LSC entirely. Whereas the upstairs evokes a trendy nightclub, the downstairs feels like a basement party. The DJ favors hip-hop over trance, most of the patrons are wearing jeans, and beach balls are being tossed between those out on the dancefloor. An overzealous Akon fan hits the ball too hard while lipsyncing and it knocks the drink out of my head. Several witnesses–admittedly, guys who appear out on the prowl–offer to replace it. It’s a less intimidating scene than upstairs. But not so much that our designated driver wants to spend her entire night here. “Let’s go to Linda’s,” she suggests.

Her bitching and moaning doesn’t deter from the fact that Seattle needs LSC and similar venues. The city has a wealth of dive bars and meat markets, but real dance clubs? I can count ’em on one hand. It’s the reason why Neighbours and R-Place are becoming increasingly hetero hangouts. For those who aren’t yet willing to climb the Hill for entertainment, there’s Pioneer Square. Sorry, guys.