Yeah, this is why I just stay home and drink.Everything I know about soccer I learned from a couple seasons spent playing as a kid (which really means a couple seasons standing around in the grass with my finger up my nose and hoping no one kicked the ball to me), and the movie Green Street Hooligans, which starred Frodo Baggins as an American Journalism student who gets caught up in the world of English soccer (which, from what I understand, mostly involves drinking ’til you pee yourself and punching people in the head, not necessarily in that order).But I’ve been told by my TV that, apparently, the World Cup is starting soon (or may have already started) and that it is a big deal for some people. “Some people” being mostly those who live in countries other than this one, along with a few Americans who seem to really enjoy watching a sport where most matches end in zero-zero ties and the most exciting thing that happens is often watching the post-game footage of English people, so drunk that they’ve peed themselves, punching each other (and occasionally police horses) in the head.Still, I get that some folks find this amusing. And I am fully in support of any fan’s right to paint up his face, wear fabulous scarves, pour three or four or twelve pints down his neck while watching his or her sport of choice in a friendly environment and then maybe pick a fight with a parking meter over who ought to have been given a red card for what. Thus, to you soccer fans out there (who really need to stop calling it football, already), I offer this: a fine listing of all the bars in the city of Seattle where the World Cup matches might be watched. You’re welcome in advance, my friends. Now get out there, lift a couple pints and … do whatever it is that soccer fans do.