There’s something about inappropriate names and food that just makes sense. The inner 3rd grader in each of us begs for something to snicker at whenever possible. Case in point: spotted dick has been around England for years, proving a) the people who named it are childish, and b) its continued production means it’s still selling to a whole demographic of sophomoric Brits and foreigners alike. While we still channel our inner Josh Baskin when someone orders the old “toad in the hole,” we have a hard time accepting the idea of drinking something that is named after an animal’s, ahem, business. To fill your immaturity quota for the week, check out these funny wines from around the world, and keep your eyes peeled to pick up a bottle for your next dinner party.Screw Kappa Nappa
Screw whatta whatta?! Wait–what?! We are SO confused, and yet oddly allured to this vibrantly presented bottle of loss-of-judgment juice. What’s a girl gotta do to get a glass around here?Frog’s PissReally? Well, look, it’s not as though we can prove one way or the other that this wine does or does not mimic its namesake in some way. It’s probably just better left untouched, yes?Fat Bastard
HA! This is one of those wines that you say in your head and immediately give one big chuckle out loud, while standing in the wine aisle alone at the grocery store. Although we usually picture Mike Myers and not a hippo . . . but who are we to judge, right?Arrogant Frog RibetAgain, what is with the frog slamming?! We’re guessing the reference here is more aligned with–how shall we put this–a certain population of wine-savvy folks who live in a country in Europe where they speak French, than with an actual assault to the poor little hoppers.
Cats Phee on a Gooseberry BushAlthough there’s an “h” in “Phee,” I’m pretty sure they intended this to sound just like the label looks. So, first question: Where and when did you come across a cat doing this? Second question: How do you know what that tastes like? Third and final question: Why would you subject innocent customers to something that sounds so disgusting? We think this was either a drunken decision or a lost bet made while drunk being put into action.Cleavage CreekThis catchy little vixen comes to us from a winery with an earlier cheeky side, and now a fantastic mission! This label is vintage, as the winery was sold and in 2007 started putting different beauties on each varietal who have beaten breast cancer. We like their good nature now, and the vinyards fun history!The Ballbuster Hmmm, our guess? The owners are married, and this is the husband’s attempt to get his wife back for some argument they got into. All other back-story ideas welcomed below. Fellas, probably don’t bring this to a dinner party where the host is a lady, right?
