The Smoke Shop’s chicken fried steak.At the risk of stating the obvious, the entire concept of chicken-fried steak is rather horrific. Breading or battering a cube steak, frying it, and then suffocating it in gravy is indisputably an act of caloric masochism. But life is short and pleasure is fleeting, so just eat a salad tomorrow and toss consideration of cholesterol levels aside. Here are five of the city’s best:5. The Smoke Shop (pictured to the left)5439 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-6611.The Smoke Shop is many Ballardites’ preferred destination for flammable-strength cocktails, and it’s also the home of Seattle’s most beautiful, bad-ass barkeep, Darlene Kaiser, who tends to her flock of adoring alcoholics with a stern but loving demeanor. Thank god the breakfast fare is nowhere near as salty and sorrowful as the elder clientele. The Smoke Shop’s above-average cutlet comes with a consistent, sausage-laden gravy, and the cooks generally do a decent job with the hash browns too, which is a nice bonus.4. Hudson’s Field Roast “Chicken Fried Steak” 5000 East Marginal Way S., 767-4777, hudsonseattle.com.Even committed carnivores experience periodic bouts of sympathy for vegetarians who suffer when it comes to meatless diner options. SW’s own Sarah Brickner swears by this newer Georgetown outpost’s Field Roast “cutlet,” which comes breaded and slathered with white mushroom gravy, nestled atop a big bed of homemade mashed potatoes. Virtuous.3. Patty’s Eggnest Bigfoot Chicken Fried Steak9749 Holman Rd. N.W., 297-1545.Unless you are running a triathlon the next day or that moronic Man Vs. Food show is filming in town, nobody needs a portion as large as Patty’s serves. However, it’s precisely the perfect size for splitting with your mutually hungover date from the night before, and the uniformly crispy nature of its core ingredient is reliably satisfying, as is the classic, uncomplicated gravy.2. Hattie’s Hat’s Chicken-Fried Chicken with Eggs5231 Ballard Ave. N.W., 784-0175, hattieshat.com.However titularly redundant and downright creepy in description (“mother and child reunion!”), the Ballard institution’s buttermilk-soaked brilliance cannot be denied. The thyme-flecked gravy is nicely suited to their choice of poultry breast over cube steak, and your background music is practically guaranteed to be Jason Mraz-free.Peso’s Signature CFS1. Peso’s605 Queen Anne Avenue N., 283-9353, pesoskitchen.com.This Queen Anne stalwart may be an unappetizing meat market by night, but tune out the soulless top-40 soundtrack playing on the stereo and dig into a nearly flawless, Mexican-inspired interpretation that is doused in an addictive, corn-studded jalapeno gravy. Wise junkies show up between 9 and 11 a.m. on weekdays when this and most other breakfast entrees can be had for a mere $6.