That right there is the best that a Denny’s Grand Slam has ever looked. A straight-up Glamour Shot. The breakfast equivalent of a $400 haircut and a blast of that makeup that comes out of a power sprayer.Everyone out there who has ever had one beer too many, who has stayed out just an hour too long, knows exactly what a Grand Slam usually looks like at Denny’s. And tomorrow, they’re probably going to look even worse because, as they did last year, Denny’s burned about a bazillion dollars yesterday by airing (by my count) 37 different Super Bowl ads, all featuring screeching chickens, all touting their free Grand Slam breakfast deal happening tomorrow.The details are thus: Free original Grand Slam to anyone desperate enough to stand in line for it, Tuesday, February 9, from 6 a.m.-2 p.m. at all participating Denny’s restaurants. This deal doesn’t include drinks, doesn’t include tip and, yes, if you really want a free $5 breakfast that badly, you’re probably going to have to wait for it. Last year, an estimated 2 million people showed up looking for some free grub. This year, I’m guessing there are going to be even more. And that means the guys in the kitchen are going to be in egg-and-pancake hell tomorrow, doing their level best to sling more hash faster than any diner cooks have ever slung before.And it’s not just the guys at Denny’s, either. Last year, the Denny’s promotion did wonders for the bottom line at the Village Inn (another all-day breakfast kind of chain operation where I happened to know a couple people), sent loads of people running to IHOP and elsewhere. The lines at some Denny’s were running out the door and down the block (an hour’s wait, or more), and when folks who were already in a cheap breakfast kind of mood saw that? They panic-bailed and made straight for the next-closest (or next-cheapest) pancake house they could find.So basically, despite what the Denny’s commercials touted as being a rough day for chickens, what tomorrow is really going to be is a rough day for short-order diner cooks nationwide. What’s generally a slow, comfortable Tuesday is suddenly going to be augmented by millions of pissy, broke, hungry people, all demanding their free Grand Slams, angry over having to wait and wanting nothing more than to eat everything in sight, drink the syrup, stiff the waitress, wipe their faces on the curtains and get the hell gone.But hey, if you’re still interested in getting your piece of the deal, I’m here to help. Though there are no Denny’s restaurants left in Seattle proper, there are 12 locations in the ‘burbs. And my suggestion for you? Don’t bother trying to get there early. For some reason, people always try to get places early when something free is being given away. But the problem with that logic is, people always try to get places early. I watched the free Grand Slam clusterfuck in Denver last year (from a comfortable distance), and if I learned anything, it’s that everyone tries to go early, and then everyone else tries to jump in at the last second. Your best bet will be to go at, say, 9:30 or 10 a.m. (after the first rush, before lunch) and just hope for the best. You’re still going to wait, but maybe not quite so long.Or, you know, you could just stay home tomorrow and go pay $5 for your own breakfast on Wednesday.