Conventional wisdom tells us that coitus and cannabis just don’t mix, that pot kills your libido. But as is so often the case with conventional wisdom, this is just plain wrong.

Enjoying a few tokes of weed with your lover can be just the thing to send you into outer space. Just ask Cassandra Gemini.

A sex worker who incorporates weed into their work, Gemini has experience with different genders, body types, and ages and has found that sensual responses to weed vary. However, “gender identity (or age, or body type) has less to do with it than your relationship with your own body… . The more willing you are to experience pleasure, the more heightened that experience will be.”

Some of the most common benefits from cannabis are heightened sensory experience, a greater feeling of connection to a partner, lower anxiety, a greater willingness to move slowly and savor touch and pleasure, “and best of all, bigger and better orgasms,” Gemini says, giving me a huge grin. “Like, we’re talking the ‘all over every fiber of your body’ orgasms.”

Personally, if I’m going to partake before or during sex, I like a nice joint of something grown outdoors with a high CBD level. The outdoor grow is going to provide an excellent flavor, and the high CBD provides for an amazing body high while not getting you too stoned. For Gemini, on the other hand, it’s all about the indicas. “Lavender, lemon haze, vanilla kush … something grown with love, that really gets you into your body but isn’t super-heavy. I find that heavy indicas just make us sleepy, and heady sativas can pull us out of the experience.” But you should definitely experiment, because everyone’s reactions differ.

Intrepid lovers who are just starting a cannabis courtship are encouraged to start slow. “Don’t just get hella blazed and fumble all over each other,” Gemini cautions. “Start with a li’l puff or two. Make sure you’re in a cozy space with no time crunch, and let go.” Gemini also advises: “Approach without any expectations, and be prepared for some nights that end in cuddling and talking or being lost in thought. The weed is not some magical ‘fix-it’ for your sex life.”

But when it is time to get down to business, Gemini emphatically states, “Try weed lube!! It makes vaginas and anuses feel fucking magical.” And who doesn’t like a magical anus?

Gemini was also generous enough to share one of their techniques, and I highly recommend it. First, set the mood: Light some candles and incense, put on good music, maybe get some drinks or fresh fruit ready. Then sit facing your partner (or partners, freaky-ass Seattle), legs touching or even wrapped around each other. Take a few tokes. Gaze into each other’s eyes. Just breathe with your partner and fall into each other’s eyes. After a while, begin tracing shapes on each other’s skin while maintaining your eye contact. Allow the delicious sensations to roll over you. Let the moment take you where it may.