Sea lions: Jerks of the seaHere’s something for all you animal rights activists to get upset about. Apparently, officials in Washington and Oregon (along with their bag-men from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) have called in a hit on all quote/unquote repeat offending sea lions making a snack of endangered Chinook salmon. According to a piece up right now on the front page of the KOMO News website: “Wildlife officials have tried everything to keep sea lions from eating endangered salmon, dropping bombs that explode under water and firing rubber bullets and bean bags from shotguns and boats. Now they are resorting to issuing death sentences to the most chronic offenders.”So they have bombs. They have guns. They have, according to reports, a death-list of 63 local sea lions, all identified by scars, brands or clever nicknames. And now, it looks as though the assassins are being dispatched because, just last week, a sea lion in California nicknamed Joey Salmon Face (okay, I made that up), became the first to be “euthanized” this year, following 11 killed last year and 4 moved to the sea lion calaboose–zoos and aquariums.All the sea lions are doing is eating salmon which, if I’m not mistaken is pretty much all sea lions are designed to do other than make little sea lions and amuse me by balancing balls on their noses and playing squeeze-horns at Sea World. But still, the salmon defenders have decided that this is enough to warrant a contract being put out on the most efficient salmon-eaters, basically because sea lions aren’t able to read the fine print of the Endangered Species Act.Oh, but wait. The irony gets even better. First, some of the sea lions that are eating all the salmon are endangered themselves, so therefore can’t be messed with. Stellar sea lions are a protected species, so they can’t be messed with and can eat all they like. But California sea lions? Blast away.Second, the Humane Society is claiming that fishermen catch three times as many salmon as the sea lions eat. Next up from NOAA: a most-wanted list of salmon fishermen who will be chased from their fishing holes with Wile E. Coyote-style dynamite traps baited with six-packs of Natural Light.Third, the place where these sea lions are causing the most ruckus? The Bonneville Dam, east of Portland, where smart sea lions have realized that, because of the man-made fish ladders that allow the salmon to go upstream and over the dam, they are very easy pickings. So really, shouldn’t some sea lion defenders out there be demanding the euthanization of the Oregon officials who put the dam there in the first place? I mean, the sea lions are just doing what sea lions do, in the most efficient way possible. Meanwhile, it was the planners and the fish and wildlife folks who built that dam that essentially created an all-you-can-eat endangered species buffet for the sea lions.Oh, and what about all the Seattleites who just can’t seem to help but eat salmon everywhere they go? Should there be officials from NOAA posted outside Ivar’s and Ray’s Boathouse and Steelhead Diner, armed with sandbag shotguns and concussion grenades, firing wildly into the crowds to keep people from eating the salmon on the menus there? I’ve seen the crowds at these places on a Friday night and I don’t think they can stop eating salmon anymore than the sea lions could suddenly become vegetarian.And yes, I know that none of these places are serving endangered species, but still… Up until very recently, it was perfectly okay to eat bluefin tuna, and look where we are now.