Photo by Leslie KellyGrab a cheap slice and do what the sign says!… I’m going to drop my armload of merchandise and walk out of the store. Are you listening to me Mr. Retailer? I’ve had it up to hear with nonstop, schlocky Christmas carols!OK, if I sound a little Scrooge-y, it’s probably because my credit card has practically melted under the heat of constant use this month. In other words, I’m broke. Busted. A patriotic citizen who’s doing her part to help lift consumer spending. You’re welcome America.While stumbling around downtown on a post-shopping high, feeling starving and cranky and low on cash, I found a few places to take the edge off for ridiculously cheap. My goal was to spend $3 or less.Hello A-Pizza Mart at Ninth and Stewart! This teeny local chain first popped onto my radar while I was working as a prep cook at Alpha Sigma Phi at the UW. Those frat boys know where to find a stiff drink. And, guess what? The pizza’s decent, too. I grabbed a slice of cheese to go and scarfed it down while walking to my next stop, The Greyhound Bus Station. You heard me! I love the spring rolls at Pho Bac, the surprisingly busy soup shop at the otherwise sketchy bus stop. The tab for two perfectly rolled fatties? Just $2.99. It took some juggling skills to balance those shopping bags and walk and dip and chew, but I did it. My last stop was at Pike Place Market. I was jonesing for some Chicken Valley fried chicken. (Go to the spot where they act the fool and throw fish for tourists, hang a right and it’s two stalls down.) You can buy a piece of pretty good fried bird for $2, but when I looked at the special board, something stood out on that bone-chilling day. A big bowl of chicken noodle soup for $3. Hot damn.After my three-course moveable feast, I was ready to hit the stores again. I think I was even strong enough to withstand another round of cheesy carols.