Inside Copper Gate is artwork depicting your mom and your aunt: Siamese twins, conjoined at the index finger.When you step into Copper Gate , you’re immediately confronted with some Viking awesomeness: the prow of a Viking longboat juts from the wall out into the middle of the floor. This is the bar. There are plenty of booths everywhere, and SHITLOADS OF PORN. I’m not making this up: pictures of naked chicks are EVERYWHERE. But unlike the photos of your mom I posted onto the internet, Copper Gate’s porn is tasteful. Old-timey porn from the Victorian Era, it’s relatively demure and depicts reclining women and breasts like creamy orbs, exposed in sepia. There are no she-males inside Copper Gate, nor she-males, speculums, or anyone pissing. There are a number of different aquavits on the menu. That’s because Scandinavians love licorice, for some reason. This salty bullshit tasted like what I imagine Gumby’s jizz tastes like, but strangely, the savage Norsemen love it. Luckily, aquavit is better than spicy, salty candy. The Krogstad Aquavit from Portland’s House Spirits was nice, with a not overpowering anise flavor, and is unfortunately TOO drinkable–we got shitfaced. The food is just as good. The Rod Beet Salad had a mountainous pile of julienned endive, dotted here and there with walnuts and a few crumbles of Danish Blue cheese. On the very bottom of the plate were a couple slices of beets, which were neither red nor golden but BOTH, like a Viking tombstone emblazoned with both the Christian cross AND Thor’s hammer, just in case. The endive was crisp but not bitter at all; they must have blanched it first. Kjottkaker, the traditional Swedish meatballs, were a bit lacking. The texture was mushy, but the pool of gravy these meatballs swam in was rich and beefy, and the accompanying snowdrift of potato and celeriac puree was VERY GOOD: pleasantly earthy, creamy, and topped with a couple bacon bits for texture. A drizzle of a tart and sweet lingonberry jam dispelled the fatty haze.Braised short ribs, listed on the menu by the funny IKEA- sounding name Grillribbe, didn’t seem like they were actually braised. They were cut crosswise the way you get them at a Korean barbeque, coated with a crusty dry rub, and a bit tough to the bite. These were pretty good, but though the menu claimed that the ribs were marinated in the unlikely combination of coffee and aquavit, I could taste neither. The ribs were accompanied by a few ribbons of shaved fennel and some finely chopped mint.Pannekaker are Norwegian pancakes. These were very tasty. The pancakes themselves were foamy and light as a feather, very buttery, folded over upon a nimbus of whipped cream, and topped with more lingonberry preserves.Copper Gate rules. Nothing on the menu is more than $10. The service is brisk and friendly. There is porn. There is a Viking ship. There’s a DOOR SHAPED LIKE A VAGINA. The only thing that sucks is the music. Scandinavians are known for making the most brutal metal in the world, but Copper Gate insists on playing some kind of bubbly electronic bullshit. Ah, well. We can’t have everything.Rating: 8.5 Vikings out of 10Copper Gate is located at 6301 24th Ave NWFor inquiries call 206-706-3292