If you spent your teen years living through the ’80s then chances are you can recite multiple lines from the John Hughes classic film The Breakfast Club. And now for your ‘Holy Shit I’m Old’ moment – it was released 30 years ago this week (on February 15th, 1985).
One thing that’s always bothered me about the premise of the film is that there is no actual breakfast eaten by any of the characters. Sure, they have their various and sundry forms of lunch including Cap’N Crunch sandwiches with sugar – but there’s not a croissant to be found in the movie. To commemorate the anniversary and pop culture significance of The Breakfast Club, we’ve thought about where each of the film’s major characters might choose to eat if they found themselves hungry on a rainy Seattle morning.
Jonathan Bender (Judd Nelson)The Hangar – GeorgetownBender lives on the proverbial ‘other side of the tracks’ – which makes Georgetown his ideal dining territory. The Hangar is where he calls home when he’s cutting class and chowing down on Reuben sandwiches with lots of mustard and kraut. You won’t see him in upscale parts of town – he’s where the cool kids are, south of downtown, smoking up his carton of Marlboro’s he got for Christmas from his old man.
Andrew Clark (Emilio Estevez)Skillet – Capitol Hill/BallardSporto is hanging on the Hill with his jock friends where there are several shopping alternatives to buy his unitards. When he’s not taping someone’s ass cheeks together, he’s loading up on protein and carbs at Skillet where his favorite menu item is ‘The Chub’ made with bacon jam, American cheese, arugula, bacon and jalapeno aioli. After he makes weight on match days you can bet that he’s adding the fried chicken thigh to this little monster.
Claire Standish (Molly Ringwald)The Fat Hen – BallardWhere else would we find the budding wannabe socialite that is Claire? Of course, it would just be in the cutest little Provencal-style cafe on this side of the water. Sitting here she can dream about diamonds, prom dates, and her rich, drunk mother in the Caribbean – all in idyllic peace with the best eggs benedict in Seattle.
Brian Johnson (Anthony Michael Hall)Geraldine’s Counter – Columbia CityBrainiac Brian loves a place that is welcoming to families which is why he goes to this Columbia City fixture regularly where you get crayons at the table and can even have breakfast for dinner. Geraldine’s is a classic ‘diner-style’ spot where you can have Chicken Pot Pie or Corned Beef Hash. Hell, they’ll even cut the crusts off your PB&J if you ask.
Allison Reynolds (Ally Sheedy)The Dish – Ballard/Green LakeWhere else would one find Shermer High’s resident pathological liar and rumor monger than the aptly named The Dish? She may be sly, introverted and a bit of a hoarder but she has stories to tell – and most likely only some of them are true. So what is she having? The Slacker Especial of course complete with eggs covered in enchilada sauce, chilies, tortilla chips and salsa.
Principal Richard Vernon (Paul Gleason)Classically pinned as a total cheeseball by Bender when asked “Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?” Vernon confirms his sense of hubris by saying stupid shit like ‘Hugga Dugga’ while looking at himself in the mirror. Which is why this venerable trio of Seattle biscuit makers is the perfect place for Vernon. I mean, we love a good biscuit but what’s with their penchant for overloading them with ingredients like bacon, sausages, jalapenos, gravy, cheese and nutella? We can think of nowhere better than a trio of our finest biscuit joints for Vernon to gorge himself like the man he thinks he is.
Biscuit Bitch – Pike Place Market @ Caffe LietoHead-Bitch-in-Charge Kimmie Spice serves up self-proclaimed ‘Trailer Park to Table’ food in this space just outside the Market. You can picture Vernon here at 1:30 in the morning fresh from partying with the boys and girls half his age at Tia Lou’s downing a Smokin’ Hot Bitch or an Easy Bitch with a side of SPAM.Morsel – U DistrictVernon’s walk of shame home from a freshman conquest and frat party likely includes a stop at Morsel on the way home. What to have? The Spanish Fly of course – complete with prosciutto, fried egg, manchego, arugula and Mama Lil’s aioli.
Seattle Biscuit Company – Food Truck @ Chuck’s Hop ShopYou know Vernon is dining on the piece de resistance when he comes to this rolling biscuit wagon – the Bishop Earl Swilley comes with four eggs, bacon, ham, cheese, pickles, cheese grits and sausage gravy – all for $25. It’s described as ‘a potentially religious experience’ and it probably is – if you’re praying to the God of gluttony and food sin.
Carl ‘The Janitor’ Reed (John Kapelos)Carl knows your secrets. He reads your notes. He cleans out your lockers. And he listens to everything you say. This modern day Big Brother has a wealth of information but lives on a high school janitor’s salary. So where can we find him? At a selection of your local greasy spoons of course…
CJ’s Eatery – BelltownBreakfast is served all day, every day at this Belltown classic where you can likely find Carl before school chowing down on an Hombre Omelet with spiced ground beef, onion, cheddar, salsa and sour cream. A heartburn inducing meal to begin the day of eavesdropping on high school heartache.Beth’s Diner – Green LakeYou know Carl has tried to down the infamous 12 egg omelet and all-you-can eat hashbrowns at this Aurora greasy spoon. Long a favorite of people wondering ‘where the hell can I eat at 4 a.m.?’ – its walls are adorned with crayon art drawn by children and late night drunkards alike. Voula’s Offshore Cafe – U DistrictWhere else would you find a high school janitor after a hard day’s work? Just off the water in the University District at Voula’s Offshore Cafe where they’ve been serving food for the likes of that evil Food Network imp Guy Fieri for years. They even have a special section of the menu dedicated to his favorites – expect lots of ‘awesomesauce’ and everything you could find in a New York Greek diner here.
