If John Woo’s The Killer had been made by a Korean director lacking talent and a script, you’d have Typhoon, a cheap-looking action movie that sabotages itself at almost every turn. A modern-day pirate named Sin (Jang Dong-gun) plans to build a few dirty bombs with waste from Chernobyl, then hurl them into an oncoming typhoon, which will disperse radiation across the Korean peninsula. (You gotta wonder why Al Qaeda never thought of this.) Despite this dastardly scheme, Sin really isn’t such a bad guy: He’s just hurting inside because of the time when he was a kid from the North who tried to sneak across the border with his family, and his mother was killed. Still he must be stopped, which brings us to Lieutenant Kang (Lee Jung-jae), who—are you ready for it?—plays by his own rules. A lot of this movie is in English, which the actors seem not to understand.