I’m thinking of a name. It’s coming to me. It ends with an S. No, wait. No S. A D. Yes, does that mean anything to anyone? A name ending in D. Tonight, John Edward, the psychic—not John Edwards, the presidential candidate—will be (supposedly) reconnecting loved ones from both sides of the grave, discussing his new book Practical Praying, and pimping his new show John Edward Cross Country. The book is out now and the show began airing on the We Network last Saturday (Sept. 8). Edward, whether you believe in his “abilities” or not, has a huge following and cultural impact—he’s even “crossed over” into South Park. No, it wasn’t really him providing his voice talents, but he did win the prize for being the “biggest douche in the universe.” Second place went to a six-foot-tall douche. As far as psychics go, it could be worse. Edward has never had a controversy with his 1-900 number or been accused of defrauding money from anyone. Because, you know, they don’t put crooks on the We Network. His appearance is sold out…but you already knew that.

Fri., Sept. 14, 6 p.m.