So sorry, uninformed Tuesday night starfuckers (Uninformed Tuesday Night Starfuckers; now there’s a band name). In case you haven’t heard, like years ago, Jason Schwartzman permanently decided to spend his time caressing the bare boobies of Natalie Portman and the Dunst. I know you had your best underpants picked out and were dreaming of spending your summers at Uncle Francis’ winery, but sorry Poopsie, it ain’t happenin’. Speaking of delusions, Phantom Planet’s current members are flying unicorns in Narnia if they think they can put out tunes like the trying-too-hard, vapidly dated “Do the Panic,” which sounds like lead singer is doing a bad impression of Julian Casablancas doing Bowie over Supergrass’ “Pumping on Your Stereo” (a far superior band who sound like they are making music in the ’08 and are also playing the Key tomorrow night) and have their careers go anywhere but the Emerald Queen Casino to play “California” for moms and dads in 10 years’ time. With Auralust, guests. El Corazon, 109 Eastlake Ave. E., 381-3094. 7 p.m., $15.

Tue., July 8, 7 p.m., 2008