Microbrews, karaoke, and hot, toned firefighters. No, this isn’t an adolescent Danielle Steele fantasy—it’s the enticing agenda for Tacoma’s Engine House 9 Firefighter Date Auction tonight. Why buy the calendar when you can buy the real thing, right? Tacoma’s single firefighters (men and women) will be auctioning off themselves as dates to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. In addition, the Engine House will donate $1 for every brew sold—methinks they want you nice and loaded so you’ll make outrageous bids. (As if charity weren’t reason enough to buy a date in public, ha!) A silent auction on the side will feature everything from Fire Dept. T-shirts to massages, though they’re not guaranteed to be given by the firefighters. Sad. For the remaining, tipsy crowd that lost out on bids, karaoke will be available for venting your woes through public song.

Fri., Oct. 26, 7 p.m., 2007