Pumpkin porn doesn’t get the credit it deserves. Anyone can put a blindfold or harness on a pumpkin and call it raunchy, but it takes true talent to transform the rind of a large orange fruit into a full-blown sex scene. And when it comes to that kind of talent, Seattle’s covered. Last year Babeland witnessed some amazing entries in its Sexy Jack-O-Lantern Contest, ranging from a pumpkin orgy—several mini-pumpkins surrounded by booze, wadded-up tissues, and condoms—to a witch with a broom shoved up her ass shouting “Ouch!” But not everyone was as appreciative of the artists’ efforts as the Babeland staff. “Photobucket removed the photo I uploaded of the pumpkin that won,” Babeland’s education coordinator Audrey McManus tells me, sounding miffed. “It wasn’t even a big deal. It was a woman masturbating, but her hand was totally covering her crotch.” Think you can violate Photobucket standards with something other than pumpkin circle jerks and anal sex? Babeland will be accepting erotic pumpkins this week and judging them based on creativity and craftsmanship. But keep in mind that STDs are frowned upon even in the pumpkin community—moldy, leaky, or rotting entries will be disqualified and thrown away—so be sure yours is free of infection. Entries accepted during business hours (noon-7 p.m. Sun., 11 a.m.-10 p.m. Mon. & Tues.), Sun., Oct. 28-Tues., Oct. 30.

Sun., Oct. 28, 2007