In past Short Lists, I’ve lamented my terrible early teen taste, and tonight’s show at the El Corazon is pretty much my eighth grade record collection throwing up all over itself, much like I did in junior high after consuming an entire bottle of Strawberry Hill Boone’s Farm. That first Faster Pussycat record (which is ripe for female cover band pillaging) played on repeat while I spent hours bathroom-bound, transforming my stick straight tresses into a giant mound of teased and curled poofiness that would fall flat at any sign of humidity, forced my little brothers to pee outdoors in the dead of winter and is solely responsible for the large Aquanet-induced ozone hole exactly 21 miles northwest of Bismarck, North Dakota. Tonight’s version of these bygone bands are nothing like the ones I played to death in our tiny little farmhouse loo. Barely recognizable with new line-ups (and in FP’s case, new sounds) your nostalgic cash would be better spent on used cassettes of said artists paired with bottles of Boone’s and a huff of Aquanet.

Tue., Aug. 19, 8 p.m., 2008