Late at night, to soothe his sleepless, libertarian, Ayn Rand–reading soul, I wonder if Jeff Bezos doesn’t turn to the customer comments of Amazon.com, as do I. Ever since the classic 2008 review of a Three Moon Wolf T-Shirt (“You don’t put this T-shirt on your torso, you put it on your soul”), frustrated wordsmiths have been striving to add ever more hyperbolic praise to the most banal products. The memes just keep coming, from binders full of women to Tuscan whole milk to banana slicers to Bic pens “for her.” It’s hard to publish a novel or sell a pitch to The New Yorker, but anyone can contribute to Amazon. We are the million monkeys madly mashing the keys, and Amazon gives us the typewriters. Genius often results.