Dear David Byrne: I am a singer who used to be in a popular and highly influential ’80s band until we broke up because we all hated each other. Since then, I have pursued a solo career, but all anyone ever wants to talk about is if I’ll get my old band back together. It’s driving me crazy. What do I do about this? – S. Morrissey

Dear S. Morrissey: Trust me, I know exactly what you mean. It’s like people expecting you to get back together with your ex-wife after you’ve escaped a 15-year mindfuck of a marriage. The key word here is “crazy” – instead of just making boring albums that don’t compare to your old band’s work, you gotta do a bunch of weird projects so people think you’re a batshit nutso “artiste” who’s off in your own world, and then they’ll leave you alone because they don’t understand you. For example, I’ve recently designed New York City bike racks that look like coffee mugs and ladies’ shoes, and chairs that look like file cabinets and dog toys. I’ve done performance art using PowerPoint, and I rigged a giant building with sound-generating devices and a trigger mechanism to turn the place into one big musical instrument. It also helps if you stare at people a lot without speaking. Or twitch.

All ages.

Wed., June 24, 7:30 p.m., 2009