This Week’s Horoscope

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Harvesting the rainforest’s renewable resources is exponentially more lucrative and sustainable (not to mention more ethically and environmentally awesome) than simply chopping down trees and raising cattle on the land. Unfortunately, taking advantage of those renewable resources requires knowledge and training that most people with access to this land simply don’t have. The situation before you is somewhat similar—because of your lack of experience, you don’t know how to squeeze the full potential out of it. Luckily for you, a willing volunteer is willing to help you change up the paradigm. When the offer comes, I suggest you take them up on it.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

Letting others take charge has never been your forte. It gets worse when they’re reluctant about (or bad at) taking the reins and making a situation work out harmoniously and successfully. The truth is, many Leos are natural leaders; whether you like it or not, you’ll often be thrust into a position of control. As galling as that role can be, though, it’s still far preferable to the misery of allowing shit to hit the fan under someone else’s supervision. As much work as it is, sometimes simply taking charge is the easiest path to where you want to go—that, my dear, is exactly the case this week.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Try not to let others’ criticism of you drag you down too much, even if it’s expressed more than their appreciation. When evaluating whether or not to take it seriously, ask yourself if your detractors are willing to step up and do the job they think you’re doing so badly. If they’re not, dismiss them—they’re morons who have nothing better to do than tear other people down. If they are willing, however, and the situation won’t be destroyed by the transition, consider humbly stepping aside. They may teach you something, although I think it’s more likely they will learn something: It’s a lot easier to poke holes in something than to step up and do it yourself.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

Take charge of whatever’s happening. Don’t be a passive victim. Assume responsibility for at least trying to make the situation play out as you want it to. You may still end up with the same results as if you’d just submissively allowed things to unfold without your intervention—in fact, this is highly likely, as your power here is quite limited. However, how you feel about things will almost certainly be very different. Knowing you did your best will give you something to be proud of—and it’ll make being proactive next time (which will hopefully be more effective) that much easier.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Just because you’re comfortable taking risks doesn’t mean that doing so should become your status quo. Sometimes it’s perfectly acceptable, and even preferable, simply to take the safest route to your destination. Although it’s certainly less exciting or even interesting, it’s still better to actually get to where you’re going than to pursue the maximum thrill at all times. Yes, life is usually all about the journey, but this week, please focus on arriving at your destination, even if the trip there is incredibly dull—there’ll be plenty of time to seek wild adventure later.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

What do people do when the power goes out? With no television and no Internet, they light candles. They play games. They interact! And they discover it’s actually pretty damn fun. However, once those electronic distractions rear their ugly heads again, it’s so hard to remember how great it is just to be present with other people, doing something fun and silly and special. Try to remember that this week, and make time to do it. Insist on it! When people are reluctant—which they will be, for no good reason—remind them that afterward they’ll thank you for having made them do it.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

Greed is ugly. So many businesses are perfectly capable of making a decent amount of money by doing things simply and sensibly. However, they choose to increase their profits in underhanded and fairly awful ways. Are you being greedy, Cap? This is a good week to keep an eye on that. Make sure you’re being modest in your ambition and kindhearted in your profit-making. Remember, money doesn’t buy happiness, and although you (more than most) know just how nice it can be, acquiring it by selling pieces of your soul still isn’t the right way to go. Being wealthy and serene means getting there in ways that your conscience can live with. Concentrate on that this week.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

There’s a fine line dividing sexy from gross. A little bit of someone’s natural body odor can be incredibly hot, if you’re into them—but a lot is usually fairly undesirable, for example. You are walking many of these kinds of fine lines lately. Watch your step! It’s worth it to be that edgy—it gives you the kind of appeal few others can match. But you have to dance a careful dance, and one misstep can land you in no-man’s land. Dance that dance this week. You’re graceful enough to pull it off—so why shouldn’t you?

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

With so many things, showing up is more than half the battle. Kicking your own ass and getting to the gym, or work, or wherever, is all that’s necessary for success. Once you’re there, you’ll do what you’ve got to do. The biggest danger is never arriving at your destination. It’s so easy to blow it off, to procrastinate, or simply to ignore what you’re supposed to be doing. I hope you have the willpower to resist doing those things, though. This is the week when most of that stuff needs to happen, so kick your own ass and do it—not later, not tomorrow, now.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

You know how to get things started—no one is better at kicking off something new than you Rams. Seeing things through to their conclusion, though, is something you’ve always struggled with, and this week that’s apt to be the case again. You have such grand, inspiring ideas, such wonderful ambitions and goals. We’re all rooting for you to actually pull them off. The biggest obstacle, of course, isn’t a lack of talent, luck, pluck, or opportunity—it’s simply a failure to follow through. Fortunately, it’s so easy to correct. Set your eyes on the prize and do not let anything or anyone distract you or keep you from it.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Going on strike doesn’t quite have the same impact it used to. I’m not just talking about the ineffectiveness of forgoing work in a recessed economy when many other people are ready to take your job. Trying to deprive some scenario of your fabulousness sadly won’t have quite the effect you were hoping for. In this particular case, you’re much better off sticking around and putting up with the bullshit you wanted to escape. Do what you can while in the thick of things. Absenting yourself is very unlikely to change anything at all, so—why bother?

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Bringing the funny to most situations is a rare and extremely valuable talent. It’s one of the reasons we treasure having you around. It’s hard to have too much laughter. However, there are times when it’s important to turn it off for a while and just get serious. Learning to recognize these times—and being able to actually stop fooling around—is an important lesson. This week should give you a little practice. Get serious when you have to—and also know when a chuckle or two would break the ice and make real communication and intimacy possible.