Ilustration by Andrew Saeger, tHE ARTdept.Hey fellow lushes! I hit the cheap wine trifecta this week. Found a bottle of Italian Primitivo that was $5! It did not suck. And it had a twist top. Score! I was on the hunt for something to pour for a crowd at my brother’s birthday party. I made his childhood favorite, spaghetti and meatballs, so wanted something from Das Boot. That pasta-pounding country makes lots of high-end reds that give wine nerds tremors of pleasure, causing them to spout phrases like: It’s so barnyard-y!Many moons ago, I got so smashed on cheap red, red wine in a trattoria in Rome that I begged the server to sell me the rooster-shaped carafe in which that nectar of the gods was served. Still have it, a very tangible reminder that not all house wines taste like the bottom of somebody’s shoe.I found the Pinetti Primitivo on the bottom shelf at Freddy M’s, a surprisingly good place to find good deals. I by that, I mean both the bottom shelf and Fred Meyer, which has an extensive selection. Even if you must dodge the massive carts driven by wild-eyed bargain seekers of Ballard as part of the bargain. It’s like NASCAR in there on a Saturday afternoon!Because I bought six bottles, I got a 10 percent discount, so that $5.99 bottle of Pinetti rang up at $5.39. Or roughly the cost of a supersize big-ass cuppa at Starbucks. (With tip, of course.)I loved the pop of bright cherry fruit and the spice in this rustic red, the gentle slap of pepper was just about perfect-o with those big, juicy meatballs. Went back and tried it again the next day just to make sure I wasn’t swept up in the joy of drinking this while chomping down on some balls of beef and — damn — it was still impressive. The Wino’s going to award an unprecedented Golden Brown Bag to this wine. That’s five out of five brown bags, plus a bonus bag for providing a headache-free buzz. Go. Get. You. Some.Follow Voracious on Twitter and Facebook.