Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)Your conscience may dictate that you should stand by and allow someone to attempt a good deed, regardless of whether they’re really qualified. Your conscience, however, is wrong. How can a non-swimmer rescue someone from drowning? If they dive in, no matter their laudable intentions, it’ll just make matters worse. Intentions are all well and good, and should be cheered on and encouraged, of course—but the ability to successfully follow through on those intentions is arguably more important, wouldn’t you say? If they don’t have it, speak up. That may mean you’ll have to take their place—but better that than the alternatives.Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)There’s a difference between, say, exaggerating your accomplishments to get a little more attention or develop your self-confidence, and simply telling extravagant lies to make yourself look good. While the former definitely occupies a gray area, it’s mostly a forgivable and understandable offense (who doesn’t beef up their resume with a few embellishments?). However, be sure you don’t cross the line and tell truly tall tales. First of all, you’re much more likely to get caught. Secondly, when your lies are discovered, the people you told them to will feel not so much impressed as . . . betrayed. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)Emotions fade over time. That’s their nature. Sometimes that means you can romanticize them long after the fact, not truly remembering how it really was. It also means you might have trouble recalling their actual intensity, so that they pale in comparison to what you’re feeling right now. What you felt then may have been just as powerful; you just can’t be sure anymore. That’s why we were lucky to be born with brains and the power of rational thought, too. It’s a fine thing to mostly live by the dictates of your heart, but when feelings can’t entirely be trusted, be sure to employ a little logic and sense, too, won’t you?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)Most humans experience a conflict daily between what we want and what we think is expected of us. Since those two things are rarely in harmony, we do constant battle, either suppressing our real desires in order to meet those expectations, or rebelling against external pressures in order to pursue our real dreams and passions. This isn’t an easy thing to resolve, and a hard-and-fast rule will never do. This week, erring on the side of doing what’s expected is probably best, just in case your desires are fleeting. If they’re still going strong in a week or two, then you can start thinking about how to indulge them. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)Capricorns are often guilty of bringing their work home. Sometimes it’s unavoidable. If you’re a doctor, capable of saving someone’s endangered life, not trying because you were on vacation would be criminal, morally if not legally. While I heartily endorse your decision to more strictly enforce the boundaries between work and the rest of your life—so you can enjoy your life—please remember: Shit happens. Sometimes those rules simply must be broken. When a truly good reason to cross that line presents itself, please don’t hesitate—and to hell with anyone who gives you shit about it. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)While you may wish there was someone else to fulfill your needs, that’s simply not always the case. Even when there’s someone willing doesn’t mean there’s someone who’s able. Therefore you must learn to take care of yourself. And lest you think this entire horoscope is about masturbation, I do mean needs and desires that emanate from places other than your crotch (although it certainly applies to those as well). Self-reliance is the name of the game this week—hell, this month and this year. Once you have that, finding those who can help you simply make your life better (and not just “fill a hole”) will be that much easier. 

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)Unless it actually is your job (i.e., you’re getting paid real money), it’s not your job to be someone’s guardian angel, knight in shining armor, or therapist. However, people know you’re a softy and tend to shove you into those roles anyway. That’s got to stop. Even though it feels good to help people, generally, this doesn’t feel good. That’s because it’s above and beyond what should be required of anyone (who isn’t getting paid). Therefore, walk away, close the door, and lock it. If that’s not enough to keep you from ending up in that place anyway, start charging. Aries (March 21-April 19)Unless you’ve actually learned to read minds, you only think you know what’s going on inside someone else’s head. Because you’re so often right about these things, you may make the mistake of believing you’re correct this time, too—only it’s very likely you’re not. Check yourself and what you think you know. It’s probable that you’re completely off-base, and acting on your wrongful assumptions could cause a shitstorm you really don’t want. Back off until someone tells you what’s up. If you really can’t wait for them to offer the information you need, don’t assume anything—ask. Taurus (April 20-May 20)No matter how hard they try to make you think otherwise, other people’s baggage is not your baggage. That’s not to say you don’t have any, Taurus. Most Bulls have trouble fitting all theirs on one airport luggage cart. But when someone attempts to dump their emotional crap on you and then convince you it’s yours, call “Shenanigans” on that bullshit. In fact, it might be best if you don’t engage with it at all—it’s like one of those sponge capsules you throw in water and it expands into a dinosaur: The more attention and energy you give it, the bigger it’ll grow. Cut it off, and cut out, before things get messier than they already are. Gemini (May 21-June 20)What’s done is done. Letting go of the past and moving on from exactly here is this week’s focus. However, someone may very well be trying to fool you into thinking some things can be undone, forgotten, or erased. That’s total bullshit. Sure, you can engage in an expansive game of intensive make-believe if you want to, but sooner or later that carefully crafted illusion will shatter, and you’ll wish you hadn’t. It’s better to actually deal with this stuff now, and consciously incorporate it into whatever happens next. The only way a fresh start is going to happen is in a totally different place with totally different people, so don’t expect one here and now.Cancer (June 21-July 22)Although it’s frequently tempting to describe things that are happening to you in the most extreme way possible—so as to best reflect the intensity of your experience—it’s also somewhat juvenile. Even if everything in your life feels that dramatic, you must learn to apply a rational perspective to this stuff and save the big drama guns for the very rare occasions when they might be necessary. If you pull them out once a week, I promise you they’ll lose their impact in about three weeks. You don’t want to be the boy who cried wolf, do you? Wait until there’s really a wolf in the room, then.Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)Most Leos resist change. Ironically, as a fire sign, you also find change exciting—once you give yourself a chance to get used to it. This week’s challenge is navigating this internal contradiction. Mostly that means resisting your own knee-jerk reaction. Bite your tongue while you give new ideas a chance to settle—a process that may require a day or three. If you still think it’s a terrible idea next week, then maybe it is. But if you shut up now and decide you like it later, you’ll be able to embrace it wholeheartedly—without having to eat your words. sign.language.astrology@gmail.com