We barked for Sark. And then he left us at the pound.Usually

By Matt Driscoll • December 2, 2013 12:11 pm
Steve Sarkisian is expected to use a smoke machine to bolt the UW.
Steve Sarkisian is expected to use a smoke machine to bolt the UW.

We barked for Sark. And then he left us at the pound.

Usually Seattle Weekly bestows its highly coveted Dick Move of the Week award on Fridays, but with news surfacing today that University of Washington head football coach Steve Sarkisian is set to become former University of Washington head football coach Steve Sarkisian, a break from the norm seemed called for. Sarkisian is bolting Montlake for the USC, only days after leading the Huskies to an Apple Cup victory and the team’s first eight-win season of his tenure. Predictably, the groan of Dawg fans is palpable. Sure, we’ve come to expect slimy shenanigans from college football coaches – and Sark’s decision to leave UW for SoCal doesn’t come close to reaching the slimiest we’ve seen – but still, this one stings. Fucking USC.

The thing is, Sark was supposed to be UW’s savior – the man who resurrects a once proud program from the depths of 0-12 despair. Through five seasons at UW he’d failed to fully accomplish this, of course, but he’d at least made the Huskies relevant again. I mean, shit, he wasn’t Ty Willingham, amiright? We were supposed to be close to experiencing the fruits of sticking with Sark through the bad defenses, questionable quarterbacking, questionable calls, and incessant #Woof tweets of the last five years.

Now, not so much. And we should have seen it coming. After all, Sark left USC for the head coaching spot at UW. Deep down we should have known that the California boy in the stupid visor longed for a return to warmer weather and tanner coeds. Maybe, secretly, we did know. But we suspended disbelief because – like the used-car salesman that all college head coaches are – Sark made us believe in him.

In retrospect, that was obviously stupid. And now UW is left in a familiar situation: searching for the next man capable of leading the football program back to the national prominence fans desperately crave – and deserve.

Who knows, maybe the next UW coach wont be a fake and a sham. Maybe the next guy won’t be willing to leave Seattle the minute a more prestigious job opens up.

But I wouldn’t count on it.

Previous winners:

Boeing CEO Jim McNerney

Don of KIRO Radio’s Ron & Don Show

SPD’s Jim Pugel