What member of Washington state’s congressional delegation allegedly carried on a months-long affair with an older, married senator from the American Southwest who’s currently vying for a political promotion? Sources say the pair first became intimately acquainted on a junket to the Middle East a few years ago, and were found out when a staffer inadvertently overheard a steamy phone call. Other media outlets are said to be making inquiries into the matter (we’re too issue-focused to pursue it any further), so don’t be surprised if this becomes the Cocktober surprise the electorate has been waiting for.