Gymnast Dan Millman (Scott Mechlowicz) he has it all: perfect abs, a big bulge in his crotch, beautiful girlfriends, and the ability to balance full beer glasses on his feet. There’s just one small problem—he has bad dreams. Then a grizzled gas station attendant (Nick Nolte) mysteriously offers some New-Agey philosophy to help him, as in author Dan Millman’s 1980 tome Way of the Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives. As Nolte, dubbed “Socrates,” keeps popping up to counsel the self-doubting athlete, the movie resembles that short-lived Comedy Central reality series I’m With Busey, in which Gary Busey put one of his biggest fans through increasingly weird physical and psychological ordeals. Nick Nolte may not be as crazy as Busey, but he’s getting there.

Poor Mechlowicz, seemingly channeling Paul Walker, ends up hilariously battling his darker self, Superman III style. With its emphasis on healing hands and the reactive mind, Warrior feels not unlike a Dianetics primer. The movie’s “deepest” insight, however, has become the tag line on the poster, which in other instances might be considered a spoiler. But, hey, since they gave it up: “There are no ordinary moments.” Only ordinary movies.