The last time I saw Neil Diamond was in a large sports arena in St. Louis. There were more Christmas sweaters in the audience than at any large public event Id witnessedand it wasnt even Christmas. Which brings me to the last time I saw Neil Diamond before that. I was with a posse of friends in a KeyArena luxury box (dont ask), and didnt want to pay $10 per beer. So, prior to the show, I swung by the Queen Anne liquor store and picked up a couple travelers of bourbon, which I dutifully snuck in. So there we were, sitting in our box, singing along to the songs, which is what you do at a Neil Diamond concert. But apparently, its not what you do at a Neil Diamond when sharing a luxury box with a descendant of the Woolworths drug store family. This prick was so annoyed with our singing that he summoned the usher and had us ejected for a technicality: the booze. I still want to kick that guys ass. I wish Neil Diamond shows didnt attract the likes of him, or people in Christmas sweaters. I wish Neil Diamonds inherent coolness attracted cooler listeners who appreciate Love on the Rocks and Solitary Man as much as I do. I love Neil Diamond. But his fans? Not so much. KeyArena (Seattle Center), 628-0888, www.ticketmaster.com. 8 p.m. $54-$119. MIKE SEELY
Wed., Sept. 24, 8 p.m., 2008