The Silver Lining in Tatupu's DUI

There's rarely good news to be gleaned from a pro athlete getting a DUI, but in Lofa Tatupu's case, I sort of love the fact that he was driving a Hyundai when apprehended, a modest vehicular choice when pitted agains the likes of Matt Hasselbeck and his annoying "all you'll find in my garage are Infinitis" commercials. I'm not sure about the automotive Mariners, but on the Sonics front, I can tell you that Luke Ridnour drives a large but standard American-made pickup truck with little in the way of frills, whereas most of his teammates drive bling-ass Range Rovers.

Topics: Seahawks

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Stuck on Stuckey

I've never felt better about my pick of the Pistons to win this year's NBA title than right now. Why? Two words: Rodney Stuckey, who played so well in his second start in Chauncey Billups' absence that Flip Saunders let him close the game out, a role that would normally fall to Lindsey Hunter in Billups' absence. When people talk about Seattle-area hoop prodigies now playing in the NBA, the Holy Quadrangle of Roy, Robinson, Crawford, and Hawes is most often invoked. But guess what: Kentwood and E-WA alum Stuckey, drafted specifically to replace Billups at the point once Mr. Big Shot hits his mid-thirties, is going to have a better pro career than all of the aforementioned except Roy. Plus he looks like 50 Cent.

Topics: NBA

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Big Pimpin'

You don't understand, OJ: people are paying to see me.

To the surprise of only those who believe in Santa Claus, ESPN is reporting that surefire NBA lottery pick O.J. Mayo received gifts—including hotel rooms, clothes, and a flat screen TV—from representatives of sports agents while he was at USC. Today, we get NCAA president Myles Brand's reaction:

"This is not acceptable behavior and on occasion, it's illegal. You get thrown in jail if you rob a bank, but people keep robbing banks. The fact of the matter is these kinds of activities are unacceptable, they are unfortunate. We expect the schools to enforce the rules and protect our student-athletes."

Brand added that he'd like to see the NBA set up a rule whereby players are required to stay in college "two, three, or four years."

While I can't find the original article, it appears that, as of 2006, the NCAA was paying Myles Brand $895,000 a year. (Similarly, USC head coach Tim Floyd has a base salary of $850,000.) That same year, Brand delivered a speech defending the NCAA's pursuit of increased revenues and dismissing complaints that the association's commercialism was inappropriate. "Nonsense," he said. " ‘Amateur’ defines the participants, not the enterprise."

Brand is right that it's "unacceptable" for Rodney Guillory, the guy buying Mayo the gifts, to try to funnel the payments through allegedly non-profit shadow corporations. But remember that the NCAA is a tax-exempt organization—one with roughly $500 million a year in revenue and regular million dollar payouts for besuited blowhards. It provides vicarious thrills and bragging rights to the privileged segment of American society that call themselves alumni through a business model that compensates the athletes—the main attraction—at a tiny fraction of their market value. (Mayo could make a pretty compelling case that the value of his scholarship is less than .5% of what he would have made with an NBA contract and endorsement deals last year.) And of course, out of his boundless magnanimity and benevolent paternalism, Brand would like to protect guys like Mayo by requiring them to stay in school for four years.

So I say, here's to you, O.J. Mayo. Way to get yours. Don't bother denying it. Don't act demure or contrite. Be honest: tell them Myles Brand and the rest of the NCAA are a bunch of wrinkled, profiteering, bloviating douche bags, peddling nostalgia for pennies on the dollar that should be yours. The next time some inflated sports-world muckraker confronts you with evidence that you got paid, tell 'em the truth. You're a baller and you want to get paid like one.

Topics: College Hoop

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Off With McLaren's Scalp, Part II

Since we called for manager John McLaren's scalp last week, the M's have gone 1-4, earning the distinction of having the worst record in the majors and putting them on pace to lose 100 games. So let's repeat ourselves: the time to can McLaren, an affable, talented deputy who lacks the stuff to helm a squad, is now. Actually, it was last week, which is all the more reason to do it immediately.

The M's are built to win now. So hire someone to lead the team who can at least take a stab at fulfilling that urgent promise. Otherwise, the M's and their bloated payroll and veteran roster will threaten to become the Dodgers or Orioles.

While we're in a critical mood, isn't it funny how Ichiro sucks right up until the team hits the cellar, then goes on a wicked hot hitting streak? Is this guy clutch or what?

Topics: Mariners

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Durant Named Worst Defensive Rookie

At least in the eyes of one San Jose Mercury News columnist and a trusty formula he's developed, the Durantula was the worst rookie defender in the league last year, edging out the Clippers' Al Thornton. Funny, both of these guys made the league's all-rookie team, and played for awful squads. Maybe being named worst rookie defender has more to do with actually getting off your team's bench than anything else, eh? That's my theory, and I'm sticking to it — I actually thought Durant would be a far worse defender than he turned out to be, given his toothpick frame and having to adjust to a new position.

Topics: Sonics

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Mayne On Track

One of the things that's struck me about sports coverage in the Seattle area is the impressive amount of play that's given to horse racing. From KJR's brilliantly-named Win Place Show on Sunday to frequent print features like today's Gallop Poll, which features savvy commentary on the sport from current ESPN (and former KSTW) anchor and Kent native Kenny Mayne — who's in town tonight in support of his new book — we respect horse racing here more than, say, St. Louis, whose five sports radio stations devoted maybe 15 cumulative minutes per week to Fairmount Park, which was closer to downtown St. Louis than Emerald Downs is to Seattle. What's more, regular musings from the likes of the P.I.'s Larry Lee Palmer would never garner even subprime real estate in the Post-Dispatch, which does little more than run entries and results in tiny type.

Topics: Horse Racing and Media

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Green Makes All-Rookie Team

Kevin Durant, too, but you already knew that. Green had a fine rookie campaign, but four out of the five players on the second team — Jamario Moon, Thaddeus Young, Rodney Stuckey, and Carl Landry — all made significant contributions to playoff teams, so there might be some beef to be had here with Green's selection (he received the lowest number of votes, edged out by fellow first-teamers Al Thornton and Luis Scola). And remember when the Supes drafted Landry before trading him to the Rockets for a future second-rounder and cash? That future second-rounder had better be pretty fucking good, otherwise this'll go down as a black mark on Presti's record. Landry could be Reggie Evans reincarnate, with more offensive game.

Topics: Sonics

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Should the M's Sign Jim Edmonds?

Now that the ex-Angel and Cardinal center fielder has been cut loose by the Padres — where, granted, he was struggling mightily — does anyone see the harm in the M's seeing if he's still got any juice left in his bat? I'm not sure I see the harm in such a maneuver. I mean, theoretically, if he can hit .260 with a reasonable amount of power at the bottom of the M's order, you could move Ichiro back to right.

Topics: Mariners

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Supe Free Agent Target: Jose Calderon

Raptor point guard Jose Calderon had a breakout season last year, starting in place of an injured T.J. Ford. But then Ford came back, and a quarterback controversy ensued that ended only when Calderon volunteered to come off the bench. Now Calderon, a restricted free agent, says he's done with all that: He's a starter, dammit, and we agree with him. Which is why, if the Supes fail to win the Derrick Rose sweepstakes, they should pursue Calderon with vigor in the free agent market this summer. Usually, a player of Calderon's caliber would be a no-brainer match for any team. Any team, that is, except for Toronto, which might view the Supes' taking him off their hands as a blessing in disguise.

Topics: Sonics

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It's Time to Fire McLaren

The Mariners' awful 14-22 start isn't all John McLaren's fault, but it's partially his fault. The affable bench-coach-cum-skipper is a talented individual, but those talents don't include managing his pitching staff properly or inspiring his players to exert a greater day-to-day effort, which the M's, to a man, really need right now. Here's the problem: the M's just dropped three in a row to Texas to gain sole possession of the cellar in the AL West, eight games back of the Angels and A's, two expertly run franchises that rarely fade (with the exception of last year's Oakland anomaly). So the M's need to right the ship — right now.

If Seattle were playing in a flimsier division — say, the AL Central, where the spectacularly disappointing Tigers are only 3-1/2 games back with essentially the same record — we wouldn't say what we're about to say. And what we're about to say is that the M's need to make a move on McLaren. They need to do something to shake things up, and in the world of guaranteed contracts, that something inevitably ends up being the sacking of the manager, fair or not. After last year's September collapse, we were frankly surprised McLaren had the interim tag removed from his title. Well, now it's time to remove that title altogether. Sorry, John: desperate times call for desperate measures.

Topics: Mariners

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