Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Because you're gifted with a keen sense of fairness, it especially hurts when you get shafted, particularly if it's because of stupidity or shortsightedness. It's likely to be very hard for you to forgive or forget this shit, even if there's some effort made to make things right, but nevertheless that's what you've got to do. Some people are petty, and unless you act grateful for the effort they made to correct their own screwups, they're not likely to bother next time. It goes without saying that this would be a bad thing, since these people are likely to mess up again (and again).

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

This week you're likely to wake up with sore muscles in unusual places. Whether that's because you helped someone move or experimented with a few new positions in bed, it's tangible evidence that you're willing to go beyond the routine. Use it as a reminder to push yourself even further. There's a lot of room for expansion right now on all fronts, but it requires a bit of stretching and pushing on your part. Imagine if you could add a new room to your apartment just by shoving the walls back. Right now—metaphorically, at least—you can.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

When you discover someone's been spraying bullshit to your face, you're likely to react in one of two ways: explosive anger or a lust for cold, calculated revenge. Either response would be a mistake right now. What you need to do is defuse the situation, not escalate it. Being pissy or vengeful would only seal the situation in cement. I don't know how you can get the liar to start telling you the truth, but I do know that that—rather than getting back at him or her—needs to be at the top of this week's agenda.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

There's a golden opportunity here that you're missing, and it's not because you're not looking for it. It's probably because you're virtually incapable of seeing it. You're essentially color-blind in this situation, and this message is written in red letters on a field of green. You need to have someone else point it out to you, which—because of the less than gracious way you've occasionally received unsolicited advice before—you'll need to specifically ask for. Asking for help has never been your forte. However, I hope you get over your resistance to it. Doing so could be very lucrative.

Gemini (May 21–June 20)

You could walk around the car you're thinking of buying, kicking the tires and pretending you know what the hell you're looking at. But that, my dear, would be quite stupid. People who do know what they're doing can see through pretenders without trying. You need to recognize your own shortcomings and find some way to compensate for them—bring along your auto-obsessed buddy, for example. Don't bumble around blindly this week, feigning expertise (which is more likely to get you ripped off than an outright admission of ignorance). Figure out who can compensate for the holes in your knowledge, and ask for their aid.

Cancer (June 21–July 22)

You just couldn't stay away, could you? Even after you decided that you were done with so-and-so or such-and-such once and for all, you found yourself called back. It's even more embarrassing because of your dramatic declaration that you were through with the situation forever—anyone who spots you now will judge you not only weak-willed but a drama queen, besides. What, though, are you going to do? This time, you may have to simply slink back into the situation you declared you were finished with and eat the sardonic comments about the stink you made when you left. Next time, though, you might remember that how you feel today isn't always the way you'll feel tomorrow, and wait before you tell everyone about the new status quo, at least until you're sure it will stick.

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)

You have trouble with recycling, not because you hate the environment, but because dealing with petty details like sorting your trash is so not your style. This goes for emotional garbage as well as the real-life stuff. Unfortunately, there's a lot you need to get rid of that could conceivably be put to brilliant, constructive use, instead of piling up in some mental landfill of things you'll try to never think about again. You could hire someone, I suppose, to sort through your physical trash for you, but that doesn't quite work inside your head. In this case, I'm afraid, you'll simply have to roll up your sleeves and get down to this distasteful task on your own.

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)

Bedbugs are back. They're infesting America, living in couch cushions, between sheets, and hitching rides to new homes on people's pants cuffs. This is the kind of thing likely to fill some Virgos with panic, but I hope you can stay calm. Bedbugs are as hard to keep out of your life as unwanted ideas. You can certainly practice caution—not picking up discarded futons from the street, for example. But worrying won't do you a whit of good when faced with invasion by physical or mental pests. May I suggest a well-exercised sense of humor instead? It'll serve you better in either scenario.

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)