Advanced Archive Search >>
Best of Seattle

Most Popular

National Features >

  • City Pages

    "Governor No"

    Minnesota's Tim Pawlenty grooms himself for vice-presidential consideration--by being a jerk.

    By Jonathan Kaminsky

  • Miami New Times

    Day Strippers

    Our reporter sets out in search of a naked lunch.

    By Janine Zeitlin

  • Broward-Palm Beach New Times

    Switch Hitter

    Before swinging a bat in a lesbian softball league, pick a side: gay or straight?

    By Amy Guthrie

  • Village Voice

    Death in the Skies

    At JFK, Erhan Yildirim clears corpses for takeoff.

    By Elizabeth Dwoskin

The Perfect Holiday: Gabrielle Union Gets a Christmas Makeover

By Julia Wallace

Published on December 12, 2007


 

Nancy (Gabrielle Union) is a normal suburban mom who wears sweatpants as she shuttles her kids to and from ballet class. She's also trying to move on from an ill-fated marriage to rap star J-Jizzy (Charles Q. Murphy, flashing his teeth and his bling). When her angelic daughter (Khail Bryant) tells a shopping-mall Santa that all she wants for Christmas is for Mommy to be happy, Santa—who turns out to be a regulation hottie underneath all that cotton wool—gets to work. His real name is Benjamin (Morris Chestnut), and he falls hard for Mommy. Unfortunately, Benjamin is also an aspiring R&B singer whose greatest desire is to have a record produced by J-Jizzy. During the ensuing hour of pratfalls and mistaken identities, the actors distinguish themselves mainly by their ability to make the material, directed and co-written by Lance Rivera (The Cookout), seem even more painfully awkward and unfunny than it is, which is very.