Sept. 28-Oct. 4, 2005

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)

What's the secret of your success? Always living a balanced, moderate lifestyle and being nice to people? No way. Virtually everything admirable, fascinating, or inspiring you've done has been during the journeys back to the center from various extremes. Your life may be about creating balance, but don't get too good at it—you'll bore even yourself, not to mention the rest of us. The process matters more than the result. Loosen the reins a little. Let your life slide off the rails; it's when you're working to get it back—to generate order from chaos—that you'll learn (and do) the most.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)

Siberia's Lake Baikal is the deepest freshwater lake in the world. Its volume equals all five Great Lakes combined, holding 20 percent of the planet's surface freshwater. Of course, there's no way of knowing that just by looking at it. You know what people see when they don't really know you? Some freak who's mildly obsessed with sex and death. They have no idea about the vast repositories of hard-won wisdom you possess, or that you're only interested in sex and death because they're undeniably real. The world desperately needs a reality check, and you're the only one with enough perspective to go around. You've got your work cut out for you; better get started.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

As the increasingly conservative Danish government tries to close down Christiana (an autonomous community in the heart of Copenhagen) to build condos, radicals mount resistance. The most visible opposition is the Danish Clown Army. They make humorous nonviolent combat while garbed in red noses and clown suits. They understand that when your oppressors are unequivocally stronger than you, unconventional means of countering their efforts must be employed. Whether their methods work or not remains to be seen. Your own out-there ideas, however, are quite promising. In other words, don't play the game you're guaranteed to lose. Instead, if you can, change the game.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)

Sometimes it sucks to be a Capricorn; your drive for stability and success often makes you sacrifice opportunities for immediate happiness. You want fun, love, and loads of fucking as much as the next guy, but you just don't let yourself go there much of the time. Sure, you're setting yourself up for a nice future, but what if disaster strikes before your plans ripen? And even if it doesn't, how fun will abundant sex be when you're that much older and fatter? I'm not saying throw it all away in the name of instant gratification. But letting some of it slide for that reason would be less of a mistake than you think.

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)

Anyone who still supports Bush and his compassionless cronies (especially after the mismanagement of Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath) has got to be just dumb as dough. The administration's obstinate blindness to tangible dangers and manipulative misdirection toward imaginary ones is a lethal quality in leadership. Yeah, I know I'm preaching to the converted here. If Aquarians ran the world, the monkey president wouldn't stand a chance. The unwashed masses who just don't give a shit (or who are too dopey to know better) need to get a clue. This week, you have a chance to make a tangible difference in this department. Please seize it. If you cool-headed Water Bearers won't give it a shot, who will?

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)

Even whales can suffer the bends—incapacitation following a too-rapid ascent from the pressure of deep ocean. I'm going for some kind of metaphor here: You dive just as deep as those beautiful beasts. Although sudden transitions back to the real world from those dark depths probably won't kill you, they're still brutal. Your life has to have room for the unavoidable surface stuff as well as all the profound explorations your soul craves. You know this, and have done your best to fit both in. But you'll be a lot happier—especially this week—if you can factor in something else you haven't considered: transition times from one extreme to the other.

Aries (March 21–April 19)

Admit it: You like to be in charge. It galls you to let someone else call the shots, and if you're in a position where you absolutely have to submit to someone else's will, you rebel in countless little ways. It sure doesn't come naturally to you to roll over and bare your neck, but it's a good exercise in trust—especially if someone deserves and desires it. There are pleasures in submission you haven't yet explored. Won't you check that aspect of life out, even if only as a short-term game? I think you'd get off on it—and I mean that literally as well as figuratively.

Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Everyone notices different kinds of details and lets others slip by completely. If you ask me what someone was wearing the other day, I could only guess—I never retain that kind of information unless it's extremely surprising or notable in some way. But I could give you intimate descriptions regarding their eyes, the shape of their face, mouth, hair, and so on. You are more observant than most, but you have your blind spots, too; there's some important—in retrospect, you might even consider it vital—information lurking in one right now. Get someone to help you find and notice it.