Minnesota's Tim Pawlenty grooms himself for vice-presidential consideration--by being a jerk.
Our reporter sets out in search of a naked lunch.
Before swinging a bat in a lesbian softball league, pick a side: gay or straight?
At JFK, Erhan Yildirim clears corpses for takeoff.
MARLON BRANDO
by Patricia Bosworth (Lipper/Viking, $21.95)
What happened? Don't look to this piece of short-order hackwork for answers. Written by some actress-turned-alleged-journalist invited to the set of The Score on the condition she not ask questions (why not just offer free blow jobs while you're there?), this biography is truly just a bio: a book written for Entertainment Tonight viewers who can't be bothered to read. A contributing editor at Vanity Fair (that explains it), the author acknowledges her debt to the three definitive tomes on Brando: his own 1994 autobiography, Songs My Mother Taught Me; the same year's Brando: The Biography; and Time critic Richard Schickel's 1991 Brando: A Life in Our Times.
Truth be told, that's a lot of pages to digest, and who has time to delve so deeply into the life of a no-longer-relevant screen legend? His sons (e.g. De Niro) and grandsons (e.g. Norton) live on, so can't we bury the old geezer yet? Inferences, secondary sources, and bald inventions ("rage propelled Brando") make this an excellent, slim volume to shim a table leg three-quarters of an inch. Otherwise, it falls a mile short of understanding.
Brian Miller
REBEL HEART: AN AMERICAN ROCK 'N' ROLL JOURNEY
by Bebe Buell and Victor Bockris (St. Martin's Press, $24.95)
"I WAS dangerous and damn good- looking. I had acid and a car!"
And so we begin. By the time you hit the last page of Rebel Heart, ber groupie—pardon me, ber muse—Bebe Buell's memoir, you'll either be completely annoyed or utterly awed by her. Buell, a woman who's bumped uglies with everyone from Todd Rundgren to Stiv Bators, is probably best known as Liv Tyler's mom. During the '70s, she was the caviar of celebrity girlfriends, wending her way through a veritable who's who of rocker cock.
Now, I love prurient gossip more than most, but a sense of humor and a dose of humility would've helped this book immensely (an editor would've been a nice touch as well). Though Bebe is indeed a very beautiful woman, her retelling of seemingly every compliment she ever received grows depressing quickly. I want to know which Rolling Stone had the biggest pocket rocket (Keef, naturally!), without having to wade through paragraphs detailing how Mick Jagger thought she was way smarter than the rest of his second-string side action.
And then there's her truly disturbing Elvis Costello fixation. In the years following her on-again, off-again home-wrecking affair with Costello, she remains convinced that he continues to send her messages through his songs. About his record Almost Blue she says: "And if you look at the word Blue, doesn't Buell jump out at you?" Huh? Not really. I kept wondering if tinfoil headgear is necessary to pick up these secret communiqu鳮
If one were to believe Buell, it would seem that there was barely a song written in the '70s that wasn't influenced by her or directly about her. She's even convinced that Prince—whom she's never met—allegedly wrote "Little Red Corvette" with her in mind. The line used as evidence is "Baby you're much too fast," which she reinterprets as "Bebe, you're much too fast." (Uh, yeah, and "Hey Jude" was written about me.)
I'm sure it's going to infuriate Buell that her tome will inevitably be compared to Pamela Des Barres' far more amusing I'm With the Band in every review it garners, but c'mon . . . the biggest difference between the two is that in Des Barres' book we're laughing with her.
Judy McGuire